Day 80 - The Last Full Day

So...

It had to end sometime right?

Technically speaking, this will be my last full day of watching the kids...

The next week or so I will be working in more of a support role as the kids will begin attending a Summer school program.

Basically, it's the perfect thing for them to do because they get to go on trips and take swim lessons and all sorts of other fun things...the alternative is that, for the first time in their lives, they're going to be spending full days outside of their home...

So that's where I'll come in...Basically, for a week or so we'll try and slowly submerge these kids into a totally new environment without freaking them out...

And then I'm letting go...

Which is kind of going to be really weird.

Monday I'll check back in with a whole lot more information...but regardless, I wanted to say now - on my last full day - thank you for reading.

I can't say it enough...

I'm also now 75% unemployed so if any of you know of any opportunities or want to bring me on as a nanny or sidekick or something, shoot me an email...

Thanks again.

Victor/Bictor

Day 80 - Chuck E. Cheese Recap

And we're back...

What a day...That place is crazy. Absolutely thrilled I never tried to take three kids alone...As we walked in Joe started singing the theme song to "My Two Dads" which pretty much set the tone...

However, I will say the Cheese has some wild technology where they give everyone an invisible stamp that ensures we don't steal anyone's kid...Much to Joe & I's chagrin...

So with our original plan to arrive with 4 and leave with 7 thwarted we regrouped...by purchasing the family saver deal complete with a large pizza and 100 game tokens.

It was 11 AM.

Game ON.

By 11:30 Joe and I were ready for the games to be over...Before you ask, we left after 1:30...Do the math.

Luckily for you folks, I'm going to provide a photo recap:

Bella & Ethan winning some tickets on the Dog Pound game...



Owen on this ride that basically put him in a basket and slowly went around in a circle...



Summer driving Mr. Tough Guy



Bella eating some pizza...



Ethan enjoying a delicious Sprite



Bella enjoying her pizza while sitting on her Dad's lap



The Quad Squad smiling after the meal



And the end result of the trip

(By the way, notice the lollipop in Summer's mouth...She's 100% asleep by the way)

All in all I would rate the afternoon an 8 on a 10 point scale...

PS - They pulled down 213 tickets between the 4 of them...

Day 80 - Chuck E. Cheese Friday

Few things to say

1) Got to come in at 9AM today so I'd like to thank the kids grandmother (my aunt Betty) for keeping them

2) Joe and I are solo with the kids so we're gonna take them to Chuck E. Cheese and then probably regret it...

Either way, as an apology, I'm posting some cell phone pics of the kids...Enjoy

The Macarena Picture



The See No Evil, Hear No Evil, Speak No Evil picture




The Bella Mean Face Picture




The Ethan Watching TV Wont Be Bothered By Stupid Pictures Picture



PS - This is the third day in a row - seriously - that Ethan has worn that Marvel Super Heroes shirt...

Day 79 - Early Dismissal

So, I'm checking out early because my little sister is graduating from high school today...I'm only telling you because this might be my last post...

Meanwhile, here's the convo I just overheard:

Joe - "Ethan how many girlfriends do you have?"

Ethan - "I don't KNOW!"

Owen - "He has Miss Lindsay, Suzie (my aunt), Victor's sisters...Tia (Joe's sister)"

Joe - "Wait...Tia? That's kind of weird"

Summer - "...Grammaw"

Joe - "Are y'all just naming girls now? Man, Ethan's going to have a huge alimony bill...You're going to end up like Travis Henry..."

Ethan - "NOOOOO"

Side Note: After Joe and I started discussing Travis Henry he tells me in a matter of fact way

"Hey, you know Travis Henry is like Forrest Gump right?"

"You mean he's a movie character who doesn't really exist?"

"No I mean he's not stupid stupid but more like half retarded..."

"Wait seriously?"

"Yeah...But I heard he's also really nice"

I trust Joe only because his father in law works in the NFL and also happened to attend the University of Tennessee...Which is where the half retarded guy in question played his college ball...So the source is trust worthy in my eyes...

Day 79 - This Is Awesome

You know how great it is to have Joe here wrestling with the kids while I make lunch?

It's like the coolest, easiest thing ever...I'm going to hire myself an Assistant Nanny...

Day 79 - Tears/Saliva = Weird Taste

I'm literally crying/laughing right now because Joe has the four kids up doing the macarena...

Being a quick thinker I found the you tube video which has helped the whole experience...

Randomly, Joe switched into the "Robot" dance which I had already tried to teach the boys...So Owen went and immediately dropped one arm into the dangling, swinging robot arm...

I'm super proud.

Moment of Realization: My nose is apparently not very strong as Bella's Mom came downstairs and immediately said it smelled like poop. Turns out Bella crapped herself...a LOT

Day 79 - Bella Bean

Bella's Knock Knock joke

"Knock Knock"

"Who's there?"

"Orange"

"Orange who?"

"Orange you glad to see meeee?"

79 - Gotta Love Fresh Blood

Bella cracks me up...She's here for 10 minutes and I overhear her say

"Hey Summer, you shud go in that room there's lots to do"

By the way, sometimes I try and be careful to make it clear I'm not criticizing the office but since Joe brought it up and told me to blog it I will...

CEO & CFO...How in the world do you guys operate without paper towels? It's been driving me NUTS!

Day 79 - Crazy Weird Mixed Up Thursday

Today's all mixed up because my cousin Joe, his wife Jenn, and their child Bella are all in the office today...Apparently the Knoxville office decided to come over here and merge with the Richmond one to see if that might make me post more...

So yeah, I'm pretty happy because I like all 3 of the people mentioned above...Especially their daughter who I'm excited about seeing because I rarely get the chance to do so...Plus her parents were foolish enough to make me her godfather which makes it all the more exciting...

That doesn't mean I didn't mark out my territory by having a totally awkward conversation with Joe about how things around here work on my watch...Because I did.

Day 78 - Adventures from Today

There were a few but not many...

Highlights included:

- Ethan finding another girlfriend.

- Summer finding a new friend.

- Owen being unimpressed with their new object of affection.

- Commemorative Transformers cups from 7-11 filled with a mix of Slurpee's


Ethan's new girlfriend came in the form of my 18 year old sister Ana...She really didn't do much which leads me to believe Owen may be right about Ethan: He's a slut.

No, I'm kidding Owen never said that but he's constantly saying how Ethan takes all the girls...Not that Owen couldn't he just doesn't feel like being bothered with the stress of a woman.

I don't blame the kid at all.

Summer's new friend, coincidentally, happened to be Ana as well...I think this predominantly had to do with Ana wearing purple and loving the movie "The Color Purple"...

Owen was, as usual, unimpressed with the new lady...For whatever reason, that will be his modus operandi as he goes through life playing his patented Mr. Tough Guy role.

Last but not least, for 40 extra cents I think I can spring for the special edition cup with stickers...They were ecstatic to say the least...

Day 78 - Miss Kaci Wednesday

On Wednesdays, Miss Kaci comes over to kick it with Ethan for an hour or so...She usually has him doing some random coloring exercise or some other thing I have no idea about because I stay in the living room...

You would think it might be kind of weird to have someone who is, for all intents and purposes, a stranger in your home...But since I'm at work and, therefore, not in my own home I can't say a thing...Plus she and I are now friends on Facebook so I can't really call her a stranger since that would be a little rude...

While they were hanging out, Summer & Owen were with me in the living room watching some TV...I also had the two of them unknowingly scratch my back under the guise of a "Wolverine competition" in which they take turns slicing their tiny nails against my back...Without a t-shirt they'd probably draw blood but with a t-shirt on it's not really that bad...

For whatever reason, they genuinely like this "game" and as long as I keep fake crying everyone's happy...

I hope no one finds it weird that I just admitted all that...

Snacks of the Day

Owen: Oreo Crisps

Summer: Oreo Crisps

Ethan: Blue Icy Pop

Day 77 - Let The Beating Begin

Apparently, Ethan was a little bit bossy today at exercise...

So for the last 20-30 minutes I've had him strung up to the swing set out back like he's David Carradine (too soon?)...

I'm kidding of course...If I was going to beat him we'd stay inside so the neighbors wouldn't hear us...

Man, I should probably stop with the jokes before Child Services shows up unannounced. Just to be clear - I WAS JOKING.

Anyway, luckily for Ethan, I don't really care that he was bossy today...

On the way to pick him up Summer & Owen had a deep discussion about God and babies and how I would have a kid sometime soon...after the lady I marry has a baby and her tummy gets real big then the baby will grow up and be my kid...

After telling them to slow down...I explain that boys have babies too...But then I realize I'm blowing their minds because now Owen's questions revolve around whether or not his father actually carried a child at some point or another.

Explanation Aborted.

Day 77 - I Need An Assistant

Apparently, the appointment that I thought was at 11 was actually at 1.

So after sheepishly walking out of the place I didn't feel like going straight home...knowing the coworkers were probably hungry, we settled on lunch at Vinny's...

Everyone got pizza.

And bubblegum.

Day 77 - INcredible Tuesday Morning

OK not really.

We haven't done much...Our highlight was Owen's drawing of his Dad and him.

It was pretty advanced but, unfortunately, I couldn't take a picture of it...(Cough...Canon, Nikon, Sony cough...)

Either way, that's about it.

I think Ethan has exercise at 11 but it might be 10 and if its at 10 then I'll get a phone call at 10:05 so I'm sort of nervous to see what happens...

Day 76 - Day Ends On A High Note

I didn't help Ethan or Owen change into their regular clothes after the pool because I was doling out the Frosty's...

A few minutes ago I notice Ethan is trying to shimmy out of his pants to go pee when I suddenly realize the fly and button are perfectly lined up with half of his white butt cheek he's currently flashing...

So yeah, from now on I'll make sure to help him put his pants on...

Day 76 - Spray Sunscreen = Genius

Oh. My. Mighty. Poop.

As the kids might say...

Have you ever used this spray sunscreen? Fantastic product...Just all around a life saver.

It's been taking me a good while applying sunscreen every time we go to the pool...

However, this time my Mom had purchased some of that spray business and it shaved a solid 4-6 minutes off the application time.

Which resulted in 4-6 more minutes the kids could swim...So they were appreciative.

After a fairly uneventful trip to the pool (minus Ethan trying to get in, slipping, going under, bobbing up like hard boiled egg and shaking it off) we headed home...

But, first we stopped to grab a Frosty because apparently these rats had never enjoyed one.

Consider them converted.

Day 76 - Great Joke E

As we're getting ready to go to the pool, Ethan walks up to me and goes:

"Hey Victor how about we leave Summer here?"

This makes Summer say "Nooooo" and me to start laughing because it came out of nowhere.

Ethan and I high five.

See you later.

Day 76 - Heads Up Canon, Nikon, Sony, etc...

I was thinking earlier about that whole "If I mention a product maybe I'll get one for free" thing and decided the thing I need most is a camera because this blog has gone to the birds since I stopped being able to take pics...

So yeah, as soon as one of those fine companies listed in the title of this post send me a digital camera we'll be back in business...

And whoever does it will get a lot of love on the blog...

On that note, we each got a haircut. Once again, Summer looks stunning with a braid AND curls...The boys both look like a couple of clean cut gentlemen...the type of guys I'd let my daughter date if I:

A) had a daughter and

B) was somehow creepily OK with letting my daughter date my cousins kids...which I would not be OK with so this point is now rendered moot.

Not to toot my own horn here but Owen did tell me, unprovoked, that I was looking sharp after my haircut so I'm going to go out on a limb and say Mom went 4 for 4 today...

My Mom was like Ted Williams only with scissors instead of a bat...plus she doesn't have a penis.

OK, I guess she's nothing like Ted Williams.

Day 76 - Another Week Another Few Dollars

The coworkers are stoked because they each got a new bathing suit this weekend.

I haven't seen Ethan's yet but Owen barely let me in the door without showing me the Spider Man suit he got...

Summer, although excited to show off her new ballerina suit, cannot show me since it's in the washer.

However, my sister saw Summer this weekend and apparently Summer told her that she thought I would really like this new bathing suit so, needless to say, I'm on pins and friggin needles here.

Also, I walked in and the CEO was putting butter into scrambled eggs before scrambling which blew my mind. The CEO has a tendency to add things to his food...Like, for instance, he always adds extra cheese to his Kraft Mac N Cheese...Just found this funny because when I asked if he was, in fact, adding butter to the eggs he said:

"Oh Yeah"

Speaking of Kraft...I know a girl who writes a blog and the other day she apparently wrote some glowing review for a perfume...and then the company contacted her offering the new line for free...

So if Reebok would like to send me any Omni Lite or ERS shoes I would be really happy. 11.5.

Thanks

Day 75 - Backfire

I told the kids to clean up their drawing area because it was a complete mess...

Owen, as usual, balked at helping clean up.

I don't know why but he has a tendency to do that and then, when I tell him to start helping out, he casually will pick up little tiny items as slowly as possible while the other two are lugging things...

So I tell the crowd:

"If one of you doesn't help clean up the other two get a surprise"

The idea being: If you do NOT clean up, you will have to watch your siblings enjoying a surprise of some sort while you sit there pouting.

I have explained the concept 5 times.

Everyone cleans up: No surprise

Only 2 of you clean up: 2 surprises

Two people sit out: 1 surprise for the hard worker

In my mind, this is a fairly normal and easy concept to grasp...but apparently it's not.

Either way, Owen kills me because he can be both the shyest, sweetest, most timid kid and at other points he's got this "I dont give a crap" attitude...He's going to be the kid who pisses off his teachers without being hated by them.