Day 1 - Summer Is Leaking.

Summer has now peed 3 times. Since 8 am.

Her brothers have peed 0 times...

Lesson: Women have weak bladders.

Day 1 - People Who Write For Children Are Borderline Creepy

I don't like the fact how this cow in Charlotte's Web 2 just started asking people about how good her milk tastes and if they like drinking her milk.

This made me uncomfortable...I sometimes wonder who is more dirty:

The minds behind children movies or the minds behind porn...Probably porn but I think its a tighter race than most would assume...

Day 1 - No wonder Adderal is so popular...

Kids do not listen well. They retain information for a good 7 minutes before they ask the question again.

No wonder the FDA decided it'd be cool to pump kids full of Adderal...

PS: Charlotte's Web 2 sucks...

Day 1 - Girls Fart More

This little girl keeps farting. And then smiling.

She is currently the favorite for the "Kid of the Day" award.

Day 1 - Charlotte's Web 2

We are now watching Charlotte's Web 2...I am ecstatic.

I have never seen part one but I was able to convince them to all sit together and watch this.

The quiet is deafening.

Ethan is dead silent in the corner...He's in a Sun Chips and Chocolate Milk coma.

Owen wanted Transformers. Somehow he was down with Charlotte's Web. I'm not pushing it...whatever

Summer is in a trance...she clearly loves this crap...

Apicella called. I was trying to wipe Sun Chip residue off 3 faces and 6 hands...He said I need someone to follow me with a camera. I agree.

Day 1 - The Mormons

We are now watching Rapunzel for the second time in a row.

Mormon's just came to the door. I felt bad because its cold but I don't have time for that. I got kids to worry about.

The girl has attached herself to my back ever since the punching incident...I don't know if this is because I have a blueberry muffin or because she finds it fun.

[Update: It was the Blueberry Muffin]

She also has peed twice. I got here 2 hours ago. She pees like a drunk at Mardi Gras...

I have noticed more gray hairs. What have I signed myself up for?

Girls better dig this...

DAY 1 - Sugar Ray Summer vs. Ethan

I'm 25 and watching Rapunzel with two kids...

The 3 year old girl just punched her brother in the chest.

She cried. He did not even flinch.

I now believe his chest may be made of stone. I am going to try and crack a walnut on his chest to test my new theory...

Result: Inconclusive. These people do not have walnuts.

DAY 1 - What have I gotten myself into?

I'm cold. I'm scared. I may not make it out alive.