Not only has Summer been taking insanely long naps that are almost epic in nature...she's also been really great in the mornings for a couple weeks now...
Since she's been out for the last 3 hours I was thinking about what the possible cause can be...and I'm convinced she might be drinking in the middle of the night...
I'm not pointing fingers...but I think she's hooked on Robitussin...
(Just Kidding. Of course...You never know when someone will stumble upon this and believe a nanny thinks the 3 year old girl he watches has a drug problem...)
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Day 28 - Sassy McSass
Any kid can have moments where they can be a diva like a Mariah Carey, Paula Abdul or Abe Vigoda...Summer, although adorably sweet, has moments where she can be really demanding. Usually about something that isn't a big deal...
For instance - not to steal a line from Varsity Blues here but - I'm only one man. How the CFO handled this for years is beyond me...though I suppose for a couple of those years the kids didn't talk back or try and negotiate with her...they just ate whatever she gave them and sat there...So that was probably nice...minus them being babies and her having to change diapers and let them puke on her shoulder multiple times a day...
But I have the mini adult versions that understand things that work for them (like when snack time is or that I seem to get them movies weekly) yet failing to understand the things that help me (like, say, the concept of patience)...
I'm making lunch...some days are easier because they all join forces for a heaping helping of Mac & Cheese...but today they came at me from different angles which resulted in me running all over trying to get their food cooked, their drinks made, plates set, side item chosen, and them to sit down...
Finally, I put Ethan & Summer's oodles of noodles into a bowl, cut them up as they like, ask whether they want a fork or spoon (forks), deliver them to E&S before running back to make sure I didn't burn Owen's grilled Ham & Cheese...all the while trying to make E&S their chocolate/Strawberry milks...and once I finish Owen has chugged his remaining ChocMilk...so now I have to go make him one and in the process I haven't been able to get Summer and Ethan their Cheetos...
At this point, Summer chimes in with her whiny, sassy voice to ask me where her "effing" Cheetos are...
Just kidding. She didn't say "effing."
Anyway, rather than step on the Cheetos in front of her...I explain that I'm only one person and that I only have 2 arms so they need to be patient when they see me doing other stuff...
To which Owen decides to jump in the ring:
"Yeah Summa...he's not an octopus"
BOOM!
Owen got a high five for that...and Summer got her Cheetos...
For instance - not to steal a line from Varsity Blues here but - I'm only one man. How the CFO handled this for years is beyond me...though I suppose for a couple of those years the kids didn't talk back or try and negotiate with her...they just ate whatever she gave them and sat there...So that was probably nice...minus them being babies and her having to change diapers and let them puke on her shoulder multiple times a day...
But I have the mini adult versions that understand things that work for them (like when snack time is or that I seem to get them movies weekly) yet failing to understand the things that help me (like, say, the concept of patience)...
I'm making lunch...some days are easier because they all join forces for a heaping helping of Mac & Cheese...but today they came at me from different angles which resulted in me running all over trying to get their food cooked, their drinks made, plates set, side item chosen, and them to sit down...
Finally, I put Ethan & Summer's oodles of noodles into a bowl, cut them up as they like, ask whether they want a fork or spoon (forks), deliver them to E&S before running back to make sure I didn't burn Owen's grilled Ham & Cheese...all the while trying to make E&S their chocolate/Strawberry milks...and once I finish Owen has chugged his remaining ChocMilk...so now I have to go make him one and in the process I haven't been able to get Summer and Ethan their Cheetos...
At this point, Summer chimes in with her whiny, sassy voice to ask me where her "effing" Cheetos are...
Just kidding. She didn't say "effing."
Anyway, rather than step on the Cheetos in front of her...I explain that I'm only one person and that I only have 2 arms so they need to be patient when they see me doing other stuff...
To which Owen decides to jump in the ring:
"Yeah Summa...he's not an octopus"
BOOM!
Owen got a high five for that...and Summer got her Cheetos...
Day 28 - Big Joke
As soon as we got home from school, just for shits & giggles, I got out of the car without saying a word and walked towards the door...Leaving the coworkers inside of my car, locked into their car seats.
Now, let's be clear - I didn't forget them...I just wanted to freak them out for a second and see the resulting looks on their tiny faces...
When I turned and looked at them Ethan smiled, Owen looked confused, and Summer looked like she just realized someone had tricked her into eating dog poop.
Success!
As soon as we got inside Summer ran as fast as possible to put on her high heels...it sounds like there's a Clydesdale in the kitchen with me...
Now, let's be clear - I didn't forget them...I just wanted to freak them out for a second and see the resulting looks on their tiny faces...
When I turned and looked at them Ethan smiled, Owen looked confused, and Summer looked like she just realized someone had tricked her into eating dog poop.
Success!
As soon as we got inside Summer ran as fast as possible to put on her high heels...it sounds like there's a Clydesdale in the kitchen with me...
Day 28 - Boring
I'm not going to lie...My coworkers and I have been really boring as of late...I know...I'm OK with it.
And I don't mean that in a bad way...It just seems like lately when we jump in the car to carpool to work there are no crazy conversations...No one is talking about cutting their own head off to demonstrate how blood works...There is NOTHING going on...
They pretty much get in, put their feet up and ask for Garrett...and once I provide them that they just drop into comas.
It's quite remarkable really.
Regardless, I guess the highlights of my morning were:
1) Ethan & Owens Christmas list which consisted of every possible X-men character. And yes, they know its not even April yet...they don't care...They just want a piece of paper that has 18 names on it...
2) For whatever reason, Summer walking around in clear plastic Snow White high heels cracks me up...She looks like Shauna Sand...This happens daily but it makes me laugh at 8:15 AM...
3) Seeing my first really really attractive mom at their school...Finally! Took you long enough lady...
And now, I'm going to go make a CD of Garrett's band Gill for the CEO & CFO since Ethan's been bugging me to give them one ever since I casually mentioned doing so...I guess he would like to listen to Gare-wet anytime he gets in a car...
And I don't mean that in a bad way...It just seems like lately when we jump in the car to carpool to work there are no crazy conversations...No one is talking about cutting their own head off to demonstrate how blood works...There is NOTHING going on...
They pretty much get in, put their feet up and ask for Garrett...and once I provide them that they just drop into comas.
It's quite remarkable really.
Regardless, I guess the highlights of my morning were:
1) Ethan & Owens Christmas list which consisted of every possible X-men character. And yes, they know its not even April yet...they don't care...They just want a piece of paper that has 18 names on it...
2) For whatever reason, Summer walking around in clear plastic Snow White high heels cracks me up...She looks like Shauna Sand...This happens daily but it makes me laugh at 8:15 AM...
3) Seeing my first really really attractive mom at their school...Finally! Took you long enough lady...
And now, I'm going to go make a CD of Garrett's band Gill for the CEO & CFO since Ethan's been bugging me to give them one ever since I casually mentioned doing so...I guess he would like to listen to Gare-wet anytime he gets in a car...
Monday, March 30, 2009
Day 27 - Slow Day
I wish I had more to report but I really don't...
The boys went outside for a bit while Summer napped...
We cleaned up the living room...I drew them a picture...
However, there is one thing I want to say: I hope all this chocolate (or strawberry) milk doesn't do their bodies bad...
I figure the milk is good for them and the chocolate syrup can't be THAT bad...plus, their teeth are going to fall out no matter what so who cares how much those rot...
I mean, unless someone knows of a study I haven't run into then I'm not going to cut back their consumption...but I'm opening it to discussion provided someone has results that conflict with my current mindset...
The boys went outside for a bit while Summer napped...
We cleaned up the living room...I drew them a picture...
However, there is one thing I want to say: I hope all this chocolate (or strawberry) milk doesn't do their bodies bad...
I figure the milk is good for them and the chocolate syrup can't be THAT bad...plus, their teeth are going to fall out no matter what so who cares how much those rot...
I mean, unless someone knows of a study I haven't run into then I'm not going to cut back their consumption...but I'm opening it to discussion provided someone has results that conflict with my current mindset...
Day 27 - Rubble
For the last hour or so we've been wrestling around on pillows and sofa cushions...they had me buried for a good 30 minutes where the game involved me just trying to get up.
At one point I kind of tweaked my back so I milked it and bought myself time to just lay there by telling them I needed surgery...While I didn't pay attention to their method of surgery I assumed it was no big deal.
I just went to the bathroom and apparently they were using an ink pen to administer shots because I have blue dots all over my face and arms...
At one point I kind of tweaked my back so I milked it and bought myself time to just lay there by telling them I needed surgery...While I didn't pay attention to their method of surgery I assumed it was no big deal.
I just went to the bathroom and apparently they were using an ink pen to administer shots because I have blue dots all over my face and arms...
Day 27 - The. Best. Ever.
Unfortunately, I don't have my camera with me because if I did I would be showing you a picture of my greatest fort creation ever.
Ever.
I'm so proud of this thing I'm tempted to kick the kids out so I can hangout in it...Not a joke.
[UPDATE: Those heartless runts tore it down...]
Ever.
I'm so proud of this thing I'm tempted to kick the kids out so I can hangout in it...Not a joke.
[UPDATE: Those heartless runts tore it down...]
Day 27 - Make Up Your Mind!
Ethan came up to me complaining how the show he asked me to put on wasn't the episode he wanted...
This overlooks the fact he wasn't even watching it and just told me that once I made him a chocolate milk he was going upstairs to play...
So he's over here complaining and I wait till his rant is done before I remind him of his plan to play upstairs but offer to find a new epsiode On Demand...
"Ohhhhhhh yea...oowwwwwight...I'll watch later Bictor...Wite now I'm goin to go play upstairs...OoooK?"
This overlooks the fact he wasn't even watching it and just told me that once I made him a chocolate milk he was going upstairs to play...
So he's over here complaining and I wait till his rant is done before I remind him of his plan to play upstairs but offer to find a new epsiode On Demand...
"Ohhhhhhh yea...oowwwwwight...I'll watch later Bictor...Wite now I'm goin to go play upstairs...OoooK?"
Day 27 - The Morning
I told Summer how I made myself a t-shirt with Cinderella's picture on it...
[I left out how said t-shirt was for a beer pong tournament in which my (non sexual) partner Matt and I drew a low seed...We had a vision that we would spit in the face of our seed and emerge from the tournament victorious with people hailing our team as THE Cinderella team of the tourney.
Hence the t-shirt...
Unfortunately, we lost in the first round...which then forced the two of us to walk around a party for the next 5 hours wearing purple shirts with Cinderella on it...No big deal.]
Anyway, I told Summer and her reaction was like every other girl we saw at the party:
She stared at me blankly before walking away without saying a word.
[I left out how said t-shirt was for a beer pong tournament in which my (non sexual) partner Matt and I drew a low seed...We had a vision that we would spit in the face of our seed and emerge from the tournament victorious with people hailing our team as THE Cinderella team of the tourney.
Hence the t-shirt...
Unfortunately, we lost in the first round...which then forced the two of us to walk around a party for the next 5 hours wearing purple shirts with Cinderella on it...No big deal.]
Anyway, I told Summer and her reaction was like every other girl we saw at the party:
She stared at me blankly before walking away without saying a word.
Friday, March 27, 2009
Day 26 - This Job Is Awesome
I love this.
For the last 10 minutes I had the kids alternating on giving me a head scratch under the guise of competition...
Ethan started on his own while we watched X-Men but then I threw down the gauntlet and the others obliged...
In the end, I announced that they all were equal. Everyone wins!
But seriously, try to get the 3 people surrounding your cubicle to come over and scratch your head...I dare you...
For the last 10 minutes I had the kids alternating on giving me a head scratch under the guise of competition...
Ethan started on his own while we watched X-Men but then I threw down the gauntlet and the others obliged...
In the end, I announced that they all were equal. Everyone wins!
But seriously, try to get the 3 people surrounding your cubicle to come over and scratch your head...I dare you...
Day 26 - Focus On Your Food
I don't know what is going on today with the crying...but it's been way to prevalent...
Actually, it's only been Ethan and even the CEO wondered aloud this morning whether or not Ethan was just going to have a bad day...
Now, he hasn't been bad by any means...just extra sensitive and prone to meltdowns.
For example, lately I've found I need to be more attentive while they eat just to make sure they eat and don't, say, crush up all their goldfish crackers...
They are not fans of cold Mac & Cheese even though I have explained the quicker they eat their food (thereby cutting back on messing around) the warmer every bite will be. This lesson has yet to sink in.
So Ethan was not happy that I made him take two bites of lukewarm Mac & Cheese before I let him get up from his lunch...but I can't have these kids starving in 20 minutes because they wanted to look out the window at lunch time...
I keep hoping the "focus on your food" message will get through to them...
Actually, it's only been Ethan and even the CEO wondered aloud this morning whether or not Ethan was just going to have a bad day...
Now, he hasn't been bad by any means...just extra sensitive and prone to meltdowns.
For example, lately I've found I need to be more attentive while they eat just to make sure they eat and don't, say, crush up all their goldfish crackers...
They are not fans of cold Mac & Cheese even though I have explained the quicker they eat their food (thereby cutting back on messing around) the warmer every bite will be. This lesson has yet to sink in.
So Ethan was not happy that I made him take two bites of lukewarm Mac & Cheese before I let him get up from his lunch...but I can't have these kids starving in 20 minutes because they wanted to look out the window at lunch time...
I keep hoping the "focus on your food" message will get through to them...
Day 26 - The Drink
While preparing a delicious Mac & Cheese lunch for the kids, I decided to treat myself to a Diet Dr. Pepper (which actually does taste a lot like regular Dr. Pepper)...
The kids came in to see how things were going and Owen brought over this green step stool they have...which put him nose level with my drink...prompting this exchange:
"Uhhhh Victuh...Did you know your drink smells kind of good?"
"It does?"
"Uhhh yeaaah..."
"Real good or kind of good?"
"Uhhh....real good"
So there's the plug for Diet Dr. Pepper.
Hook. Us. Up...
The kids came in to see how things were going and Owen brought over this green step stool they have...which put him nose level with my drink...prompting this exchange:
"Uhhhh Victuh...Did you know your drink smells kind of good?"
"It does?"
"Uhhh yeaaah..."
"Real good or kind of good?"
"Uhhh....real good"
So there's the plug for Diet Dr. Pepper.
Hook. Us. Up...
Day 26 - I'm Still Here-uh
Ethan was in the bathroom for quite some time working on something...finally he called out to let me know he was done.
Jokingly, I told him he was in there so long I thought he had fallen in...
"Yeah, no I didn't fall in Bictor! I'm still here-uh"
On a related note, we're watching E.T. and Summer decided she had something to tell me about the tent and how it's going to turn into a baby. I have absolutely NO idea what she was talking about but I'll be damned if I didn't smile and say "cooooool."
Jokingly, I told him he was in there so long I thought he had fallen in...
"Yeah, no I didn't fall in Bictor! I'm still here-uh"
On a related note, we're watching E.T. and Summer decided she had something to tell me about the tent and how it's going to turn into a baby. I have absolutely NO idea what she was talking about but I'll be damned if I didn't smile and say "cooooool."
Day 26 - The One Thing I Don't Understand
I just don't get the crying thing...
I would suppose this comes from being an adult and having the mentality that unless it's a serious injury you don't cry...but I don't recall ever being a big cry guy.
Now, I'm not tough by any means. I will watch the movie Love, Actually a hundred times...but I just don't really ever get around to crying.
These kids will breakdown if they rip a coloring picture, if I don't draw a picture exactly as they wanted, or if something is broken...It's remarkable really.
Summer just came down bawling because her maraca broke...after she banged it against another maraca...
But as I'm trying to explain to her how a maraca filled with rocks isn't worth the tears she was spilling, I had Ethan over my shoulder walking around with a musical triangle just clang-clang-clanging away like it was dinner time...
Then Owen comes down with more maracas to save the day...
Needless to say - I sent them upstairs for music hour.
I would suppose this comes from being an adult and having the mentality that unless it's a serious injury you don't cry...but I don't recall ever being a big cry guy.
Now, I'm not tough by any means. I will watch the movie Love, Actually a hundred times...but I just don't really ever get around to crying.
These kids will breakdown if they rip a coloring picture, if I don't draw a picture exactly as they wanted, or if something is broken...It's remarkable really.
Summer just came down bawling because her maraca broke...after she banged it against another maraca...
But as I'm trying to explain to her how a maraca filled with rocks isn't worth the tears she was spilling, I had Ethan over my shoulder walking around with a musical triangle just clang-clang-clanging away like it was dinner time...
Then Owen comes down with more maracas to save the day...
Needless to say - I sent them upstairs for music hour.
Day 26 - CEO
The CEO just made my morning...
Ethan, when fired up, has a tendency to talk in this crazy voice that seems to come from the depths of his throat in a real raspy way...Usually, if you tell him to talk in his regular voice he gets it together and checks the crazy voice at the door...
About 2 minutes ago he was clamoring for an episode of the X-Men cartoon...and broke out the crazy voice on the CEO...
All of the sudden I hear the CEO go
"Galalalalalalalabahahallala why are you talking like that??"
Ethan immediately stopped and went back to his normal voice...
Fantastic.
Ethan, when fired up, has a tendency to talk in this crazy voice that seems to come from the depths of his throat in a real raspy way...Usually, if you tell him to talk in his regular voice he gets it together and checks the crazy voice at the door...
About 2 minutes ago he was clamoring for an episode of the X-Men cartoon...and broke out the crazy voice on the CEO...
All of the sudden I hear the CEO go
"Galalalalalalalabahahallala why are you talking like that??"
Ethan immediately stopped and went back to his normal voice...
Fantastic.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Day 25 - What the hell?
That was crazy.
As we were sitting around coloring Owen jumped up and raced off saying he had to pee.
Nothing weird there.
Then, as he's in the bathroom, I hear him start screaming at the top of his lungs:
"Ahhh. Ahhh. Ahhh. I'm peeing!!!! AHHHH I'M PEEEEEEING!!!!"
By the time I open the bathroom door the floor is soaked and Owen is still pissing all over the place.
He's literally just going side to side like a sprinkler or fire hose, spraying down every corner of the bathroom, still screaming (only he added crying to the mix)...
Naturally, my initial reaction is surprise + confusion as I say:
"Owen! What are you doing?!?"
I push him towards the toilet where the final few drops safely land...leaving only 95% of his bladders most recent contents on almost every surface of the bathroom minus the sink and mirror...
I half expected him to raise his arms triumphantly, laugh at me, and scream "TAAADDDAAA!"
But he didn't because this episode apparently freaked him out.
Turns out, he was in the process of trying to get his pants off before his briefs got tangled up with his jeans, essentially handcuffing his thighs together and blocking his geronimo from a clear shot.
The surge of urine and the knowledge that he was peeing all over himself probably contributed to the screaming...
I'm not sure why he cried...Unless he thought I was about to beat him for that...but what guy hasn't accidentally peed on himself?
Granted, most of us were drunk but still...I'd rather pee on myself than the other alternatives...
As we were sitting around coloring Owen jumped up and raced off saying he had to pee.
Nothing weird there.
Then, as he's in the bathroom, I hear him start screaming at the top of his lungs:
"Ahhh. Ahhh. Ahhh. I'm peeing!!!! AHHHH I'M PEEEEEEING!!!!"
By the time I open the bathroom door the floor is soaked and Owen is still pissing all over the place.
He's literally just going side to side like a sprinkler or fire hose, spraying down every corner of the bathroom, still screaming (only he added crying to the mix)...
Naturally, my initial reaction is surprise + confusion as I say:
"Owen! What are you doing?!?"
I push him towards the toilet where the final few drops safely land...leaving only 95% of his bladders most recent contents on almost every surface of the bathroom minus the sink and mirror...
I half expected him to raise his arms triumphantly, laugh at me, and scream "TAAADDDAAA!"
But he didn't because this episode apparently freaked him out.
Turns out, he was in the process of trying to get his pants off before his briefs got tangled up with his jeans, essentially handcuffing his thighs together and blocking his geronimo from a clear shot.
The surge of urine and the knowledge that he was peeing all over himself probably contributed to the screaming...
I'm not sure why he cried...Unless he thought I was about to beat him for that...but what guy hasn't accidentally peed on himself?
Granted, most of us were drunk but still...I'd rather pee on myself than the other alternatives...
Day 25 - Role Playing
Owen is 100% focused on Meet The Robinsons and hasn't moved or spoken in an hour or so...
Summer & Ethan are running around with blankets around their backs (which I refer to as "fake capes") and screaming the following:
"The power of WUHL-VER-INE"
"and da powa of Stor-orm!"
Summer & Ethan are running around with blankets around their backs (which I refer to as "fake capes") and screaming the following:
"The power of WUHL-VER-INE"
"and da powa of Stor-orm!"
Day 25 - Thanks Blockbuster
This is the SECOND time I've rented the kids a movie and it doesn't work...
Does Blockbuster not check their product?
AHHHHH
Does Blockbuster not check their product?
AHHHHH
Day 25 - The Movies
They were a bit iffy on my whole "one for all, all for one" approach to movie renting...Especially the part about no one getting their own movie. This really confused them...
That being said, they each took a movie and inspected it while they listened to gare-wet...they heard a song with harmonicas and got pretty fired up about that...
Until I changed it. Summer was not impressed...
"Bad bad bad bictor...you're bad bictor"
That being said, they each took a movie and inspected it while they listened to gare-wet...they heard a song with harmonicas and got pretty fired up about that...
Until I changed it. Summer was not impressed...
"Bad bad bad bictor...you're bad bictor"
Day 25 - OT
I put in a little overtime last night and went to Blockbuster to rent some movies for the Coworkers...
I'm pretty sure I mentioned this already but they have all entered a youth soccer league where, for some unknown reason, teams consist of 3 kids...As such, they are all on one team...a superpower if you will.
The CEO is coaching. I find this hilarious because I know for a fact the CEO nor myself (or anyone else in our family for that matter) has ever played competitive soccer. We're more sports fans than athletes...Sure, I did play JV basketball in high school but that was mainly for the free equipment - I'm a big fan of basketball shorts. True story.
So anyway, since they're on one unit I decided rather than purchase 3 different movies for each I picked 3 movies we could watch as a team.
I'm trying to boost team chemistry and I'm pretty sure I once read that the Brazilian national team does the same thing...So I picked up The Incredibles, Meet The Robinsons, and An Extremely Goofy Movie...
I'm especially curious about An Extremely Goofy Movie since the plot sounds very VERY similar to that of the Rodney Dangerfield classic Back to School...
Now, not to go all Levar Burton on you but don't take my word for it, read the movie descriptions I got off the internet:
Exhibit A -
Join [name removed] and his son in a hip and hilarious movie that kicks up outrageous fun on the road to higher education. It's a life of freedom as [Son] sets off for college -- but [Dad] misses [Son] so much he literally falls down on the job. The laughs come fast and furious as he shows up, leisure suit and all, to finish college alongside his son and his friends. When [Dad] meets the librarian, they hit if off and spark a stuck-in-the-seventies relationship that steals the show. But as [Dad] tries to get closer to [Son], both must learn how to live their own lives ... together!
Exhibit B -
Higher education will never be the same when the maniac takes on the brainiacs! [Dad's] son is a college misfit, so [Dad's] lending some fatherly support...by enrolling as a fellow freshman! Who cares if he never finished high school? His pockets are deep enough to buy a ticket to class...But when he ticks off his professor by stealing his girlfriend, Dad takes things just a little too far. Now, he'll have to hit the books or go back to being a dropout!
See what I mean?
Either way, I think the kids will be pretty happy with my choices...
I'm pretty sure I mentioned this already but they have all entered a youth soccer league where, for some unknown reason, teams consist of 3 kids...As such, they are all on one team...a superpower if you will.
The CEO is coaching. I find this hilarious because I know for a fact the CEO nor myself (or anyone else in our family for that matter) has ever played competitive soccer. We're more sports fans than athletes...Sure, I did play JV basketball in high school but that was mainly for the free equipment - I'm a big fan of basketball shorts. True story.
So anyway, since they're on one unit I decided rather than purchase 3 different movies for each I picked 3 movies we could watch as a team.
I'm trying to boost team chemistry and I'm pretty sure I once read that the Brazilian national team does the same thing...So I picked up The Incredibles, Meet The Robinsons, and An Extremely Goofy Movie...
I'm especially curious about An Extremely Goofy Movie since the plot sounds very VERY similar to that of the Rodney Dangerfield classic Back to School...
Now, not to go all Levar Burton on you but don't take my word for it, read the movie descriptions I got off the internet:
Exhibit A -
Join [name removed] and his son in a hip and hilarious movie that kicks up outrageous fun on the road to higher education. It's a life of freedom as [Son] sets off for college -- but [Dad] misses [Son] so much he literally falls down on the job. The laughs come fast and furious as he shows up, leisure suit and all, to finish college alongside his son and his friends. When [Dad] meets the librarian, they hit if off and spark a stuck-in-the-seventies relationship that steals the show. But as [Dad] tries to get closer to [Son], both must learn how to live their own lives ... together!
Exhibit B -
Higher education will never be the same when the maniac takes on the brainiacs! [Dad's] son is a college misfit, so [Dad's] lending some fatherly support...by enrolling as a fellow freshman! Who cares if he never finished high school? His pockets are deep enough to buy a ticket to class...But when he ticks off his professor by stealing his girlfriend, Dad takes things just a little too far. Now, he'll have to hit the books or go back to being a dropout!
See what I mean?
Either way, I think the kids will be pretty happy with my choices...
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Day 24 - Copycat
So, while Summer naps and Ethan & Owen watch "102 Dalamations" (their words), I sat down to answer a few emails and possibly do a little research work for a freelance article...
Around that time Owen bounced off the couch and ran into the kitchen/play area...
A few minutes later he comes back with some mini kid computer, sat down next to me and says
"hey...look Victor...I'm doin work too...Just like you!"
This kid kills me sometimes.
Around that time Owen bounced off the couch and ran into the kitchen/play area...
A few minutes later he comes back with some mini kid computer, sat down next to me and says
"hey...look Victor...I'm doin work too...Just like you!"
This kid kills me sometimes.
Day 24 - Hmmm
Apparently, Miss Casey gave the boys a Backyardigans Pablo picture...
Here's hoping this preferential treatment doesn't somehow lead to a jealous band of thugs inflicting punishment on Ethan and Owen on the playground...
The last thing I need is one of them getting a Blow Pop stick to the gut.
Here's hoping this preferential treatment doesn't somehow lead to a jealous band of thugs inflicting punishment on Ethan and Owen on the playground...
The last thing I need is one of them getting a Blow Pop stick to the gut.
Day 24 - The Trip To School
Only two stories to report today.
The first:
Luckily, I got off to a good start this morning by showering. I followed this up by dressing semi-decently but not shaving...just because I can get away with that.
Although I love Garrett's music as much as, well, Garrett sometimes I can't do it...so this morning I did the old "I can't find it folks...sorry" and played the mix CD I made myself yesterday...They dealt with it...However, I now know Ethan does not care for an electronic drum beat nearly as much as he likes the sound of real drums...
So once we get to school everyone is pretty reserved including yours truly.
As I'm getting the kids out of the car I notice a friendly looking woman approaching us with that "eff it I'm going to say something" look on her face...
"Victor? Hi...I'm Casey - I'm Ethan & Owen's teacher..."
At this point my mind starts racing about what this could entail...Did the kids do something crazy at school? Did someone hit a kid yesterday?
Then I remember they didn't even go to school yesterday...so instead of being defensive and getting Eddie Murphy "Raw" on her, I become curious and let her finish her sentence...
"...I just wanted to let you know I really like the blog."
Appppppparently, the CFO sent it to the school...Thankfully, I've never said anything bad about the school. Casey even had a favorite part of the blog...
So that was really nice of her. Thanks Casey! Now don't go beating the boys at school! Just kidding, she seemed like a time-out kind of disciplinarian.
For the record: I hope the CFO never sends this to the kids doctor...because I've had some choice words for that guy...
And the second story:
Driving home alone with Summer, she barely waits for us to hit the main road before she asks if she and I can go somewhere...
I laugh.
She follows that up with this gem:
"And and Bictor...if you hab any money you can buy sometin"
In the age old "Nature v. Nurture Battle" I used to be a Nurture guy...I'm starting to become a Nature guy simply because Summer is a classic lady.
I tell her we'll see...too bad Blockbuster is closed. We end up at 7-11 where she gets an Oreo cakester...which looked disgusting. Then again, I bought a Supreme Omelet Taquito so who am I to judge?
As we head to the house, I'm still pushing the mix CD...On it is a Kanye West song called "RoboCop" and at the 2:52 mark it breaks down into strings and Kanye sings:
"You spoiled little L.A. girl...you're just an L.A. girl"
This apparently didn't sound like that to Summer who makes the following comment:
"Bictor, he said 'little lego girl' - dats silly"
Sadly, she has no idea how silly Kanye West really is...
The first:
Luckily, I got off to a good start this morning by showering. I followed this up by dressing semi-decently but not shaving...just because I can get away with that.
Although I love Garrett's music as much as, well, Garrett sometimes I can't do it...so this morning I did the old "I can't find it folks...sorry" and played the mix CD I made myself yesterday...They dealt with it...However, I now know Ethan does not care for an electronic drum beat nearly as much as he likes the sound of real drums...
So once we get to school everyone is pretty reserved including yours truly.
As I'm getting the kids out of the car I notice a friendly looking woman approaching us with that "eff it I'm going to say something" look on her face...
"Victor? Hi...I'm Casey - I'm Ethan & Owen's teacher..."
At this point my mind starts racing about what this could entail...Did the kids do something crazy at school? Did someone hit a kid yesterday?
Then I remember they didn't even go to school yesterday...so instead of being defensive and getting Eddie Murphy "Raw" on her, I become curious and let her finish her sentence...
"...I just wanted to let you know I really like the blog."
Appppppparently, the CFO sent it to the school...Thankfully, I've never said anything bad about the school. Casey even had a favorite part of the blog...
So that was really nice of her. Thanks Casey! Now don't go beating the boys at school! Just kidding, she seemed like a time-out kind of disciplinarian.
For the record: I hope the CFO never sends this to the kids doctor...because I've had some choice words for that guy...
And the second story:
Driving home alone with Summer, she barely waits for us to hit the main road before she asks if she and I can go somewhere...
I laugh.
She follows that up with this gem:
"And and Bictor...if you hab any money you can buy sometin"
In the age old "Nature v. Nurture Battle" I used to be a Nurture guy...I'm starting to become a Nature guy simply because Summer is a classic lady.
I tell her we'll see...too bad Blockbuster is closed. We end up at 7-11 where she gets an Oreo cakester...which looked disgusting. Then again, I bought a Supreme Omelet Taquito so who am I to judge?
As we head to the house, I'm still pushing the mix CD...On it is a Kanye West song called "RoboCop" and at the 2:52 mark it breaks down into strings and Kanye sings:
"You spoiled little L.A. girl...you're just an L.A. girl"
This apparently didn't sound like that to Summer who makes the following comment:
"Bictor, he said 'little lego girl' - dats silly"
Sadly, she has no idea how silly Kanye West really is...
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Day 23 - "Liability Reasons"
So the office is looking into getting some new windows. As such, a contractor came by to take some measurements to provide the CEO & CFO an estimate.
I let him in and first apologize for the mess. Which immediately makes me feel like my mom.
After I kicked Owen's soccer ball to confirm my manliness, I explained that Summer's room was off limits because I just put her down. I was thinking he would be fine to go around on his own.
I was wrong. He asked me to escort him around the house for "liability reasons."
Because the measurements are on him, he wasn't willing to assume the windows in the boy's bedroom were the same size as in Summer's room. To prevent a return trip I threw caution to the wind and took him into Summer's room.
He promised to be quiet.
He rattled his tape measure like he was playing a Xylophone.
Luckily for him, she didn't wake up.
Back to watching Underdog and coloring with the boys...
I let him in and first apologize for the mess. Which immediately makes me feel like my mom.
After I kicked Owen's soccer ball to confirm my manliness, I explained that Summer's room was off limits because I just put her down. I was thinking he would be fine to go around on his own.
I was wrong. He asked me to escort him around the house for "liability reasons."
Because the measurements are on him, he wasn't willing to assume the windows in the boy's bedroom were the same size as in Summer's room. To prevent a return trip I threw caution to the wind and took him into Summer's room.
He promised to be quiet.
He rattled his tape measure like he was playing a Xylophone.
Luckily for him, she didn't wake up.
Back to watching Underdog and coloring with the boys...
Day 23 - The First Song
While Ethan took a little break to go color Summer & Owen decided to write a song using their harmonicas.
They both blow on their instrument 3 or 4 times and Owen says "I love basketball" and then Summer repeats him...
I think if I hadn't just gotten home from 5 days in Vegas I would be enjoying this moment a lot more than I currently am.
They both blow on their instrument 3 or 4 times and Owen says "I love basketball" and then Summer repeats him...
I think if I hadn't just gotten home from 5 days in Vegas I would be enjoying this moment a lot more than I currently am.
Day 23 - AHHHHHarmonica
The office sounds like a hobo filled bus station...hobos with harmonicas and sad tales...I need someone to teach these kids how to play something other than, well, nothing...
Any takers?
Any takers?
Day 23 - Did You Miss Me?
I asked all 3 of my coworkers that question at different times...
Owen dropped a fairly nonchalant "yeah" on me and that was that...But he's always pretty reserved in the emotional department.
Ethan threw his arms around my neck and squeezed his head up against mine as he said "yea I missed you a lot..." which was pretty nice of him.
Summer gave me a flat "No" and then proceeded to blow her harmonica loudly in my face.
The lesson as always: women are cold, cold creatures...
Owen dropped a fairly nonchalant "yeah" on me and that was that...But he's always pretty reserved in the emotional department.
Ethan threw his arms around my neck and squeezed his head up against mine as he said "yea I missed you a lot..." which was pretty nice of him.
Summer gave me a flat "No" and then proceeded to blow her harmonica loudly in my face.
The lesson as always: women are cold, cold creatures...
Day 23 - NCAA Bracket Update
First Round Scores:
Ethan - 24 points (24 of 32 games picked correctly)
Summer -24 points (24 of 32)
Owen - 23 points (23 of 32)
Mr Nanny - 21 points (so embarrassed)
Second Round Scores:
Ethan - 28 points (14 of 16)
Mr Nanny - 28 points (OK, this is more like it)
Summer - 24 points (12 of 16)
Owen - 18 (9 of 16...He went a little crazy with the upsets...Say this about him: Owen is not afraid of a little risk)
Standings:
Ethan - 52 points
Mr Nanny - 49 points
Summer - 48 points
Owen - 41 points
Ethan - 24 points (24 of 32 games picked correctly)
Summer -24 points (24 of 32)
Owen - 23 points (23 of 32)
Mr Nanny - 21 points (so embarrassed)
Second Round Scores:
Ethan - 28 points (14 of 16)
Mr Nanny - 28 points (OK, this is more like it)
Summer - 24 points (12 of 16)
Owen - 18 (9 of 16...He went a little crazy with the upsets...Say this about him: Owen is not afraid of a little risk)
Standings:
Ethan - 52 points
Mr Nanny - 49 points
Summer - 48 points
Owen - 41 points
Day 23 - Mr Nanny Correction
A nice reader from the District of Columbia has emailed me to explain how cousin's and family trees work.
Apparently, I'm an idiot and called the kids my second cousins when this was not true. According to DC Rose my coworkers are my first cousins once removed...So that's good...
Second cousins sounds so impersonal.
Apparently, I'm an idiot and called the kids my second cousins when this was not true. According to DC Rose my coworkers are my first cousins once removed...So that's good...
Second cousins sounds so impersonal.
Day 23 - No School
I'm putting my foot down and won't be taking the kids to school today.
Just kidding.
Being that I've been gone there was some confusion and the car seats were accidentally left in CFO's van.
So, since I'm not trying to decapitate anyone in my car, we're going to hang tough.
Just kidding.
Being that I've been gone there was some confusion and the car seats were accidentally left in CFO's van.
So, since I'm not trying to decapitate anyone in my car, we're going to hang tough.
Day 23 - The Return of Mr Nanny
I'M BAAAAAAAAAAACK
That was my first thought when I woke up this morning. This thought was followed by my realizing I'm also still incredibly tired.
Note to self: 3.5 days in Vegas is more than enough time to cause irreversible harm to your body.
I've got to admit: I'm thrilled to be back here with the kids. Now, I can't speak for my friends, but I'm pretty sure I was the only one OK with the idea of going back to work. Then again, I'm allowed to go to work without showering or shaving.
However, I really thought I'd walk into a little more excitement than I encountered. This morning my co workers we're pretty much 100% unimpressed that I'm back. Actually, Summer seemed most happy which was surprising.
Upon my return, there was a package waiting addressed to the co workers - A nondescript white padded envelope.
Being that I didn't see a return address there was a 50/50 chance someone mailed us Anthrax (the chemical not the band) or perhaps a mail bomb...And sure, I would be lying through my teeth if there wasn't a part of me hoping it was from some lonely, attractive female inmate looking for a pen pal.
So I open it.
Fortunately or unfortunately (depending on your perspective) the contents of said package were not for me...Unless by "for me" you mean "something that will make lots of noise and potentially cause Mr Nanny to involuntarily beat his own head in with a frying pan."
If the latter is your definition of "for me" then, in that case, this package was absolutely for me.
Of course, I'm kidding. This was actually a fantastic move. Upon opening it I realize one of the faithful readers of this site made an effort to surprise the kids...and boy did she.
At this point, Cindy Smith of Nags Head, North Carolina - thank you!
And for all of you readers who fancy yourselves big fans of the blog and, more importantly, the kids...CINDY GOT THEM FRIGGIN HARMONICAS!!!!!!!
So my message to all of you "Mannyiacs": Step. Your. Game. Up.
As I type this, there is a nonstop assault of harmonica sounds coming from every corner. Furthermore, those of you who have been keeping up for some time now will not be surprised to learn that Ethan is ROCKING the Harmonica. Summer is salivating all over it like its a Kit Kat and Owen is trying to get his bearings but Ethan is rolling.
Remember my post the other day about being able to see some of a kids future? Well, I can see Owen being a strong athlete with a real sarcastic sense of humor and now I'm pretty sure Ethan will end up - based on his people skills and love affair with music - being a class clown/musician...and I guess that makes Summer a heart breaker because she's quite the flirt.
But, either way, the kids are ecstatic right now so thank you again Cindy. I'm going to go light a candle, try and mold the wax to fit my ears and enjoy my day.
Your friend,
Mr Nanny
That was my first thought when I woke up this morning. This thought was followed by my realizing I'm also still incredibly tired.
Note to self: 3.5 days in Vegas is more than enough time to cause irreversible harm to your body.
I've got to admit: I'm thrilled to be back here with the kids. Now, I can't speak for my friends, but I'm pretty sure I was the only one OK with the idea of going back to work. Then again, I'm allowed to go to work without showering or shaving.
However, I really thought I'd walk into a little more excitement than I encountered. This morning my co workers we're pretty much 100% unimpressed that I'm back. Actually, Summer seemed most happy which was surprising.
Upon my return, there was a package waiting addressed to the co workers - A nondescript white padded envelope.
Being that I didn't see a return address there was a 50/50 chance someone mailed us Anthrax (the chemical not the band) or perhaps a mail bomb...And sure, I would be lying through my teeth if there wasn't a part of me hoping it was from some lonely, attractive female inmate looking for a pen pal.
So I open it.
Fortunately or unfortunately (depending on your perspective) the contents of said package were not for me...Unless by "for me" you mean "something that will make lots of noise and potentially cause Mr Nanny to involuntarily beat his own head in with a frying pan."
If the latter is your definition of "for me" then, in that case, this package was absolutely for me.
Of course, I'm kidding. This was actually a fantastic move. Upon opening it I realize one of the faithful readers of this site made an effort to surprise the kids...and boy did she.
At this point, Cindy Smith of Nags Head, North Carolina - thank you!
And for all of you readers who fancy yourselves big fans of the blog and, more importantly, the kids...CINDY GOT THEM FRIGGIN HARMONICAS!!!!!!!
So my message to all of you "Mannyiacs": Step. Your. Game. Up.
As I type this, there is a nonstop assault of harmonica sounds coming from every corner. Furthermore, those of you who have been keeping up for some time now will not be surprised to learn that Ethan is ROCKING the Harmonica. Summer is salivating all over it like its a Kit Kat and Owen is trying to get his bearings but Ethan is rolling.
Remember my post the other day about being able to see some of a kids future? Well, I can see Owen being a strong athlete with a real sarcastic sense of humor and now I'm pretty sure Ethan will end up - based on his people skills and love affair with music - being a class clown/musician...and I guess that makes Summer a heart breaker because she's quite the flirt.
But, either way, the kids are ecstatic right now so thank you again Cindy. I'm going to go light a candle, try and mold the wax to fit my ears and enjoy my day.
Your friend,
Mr Nanny
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Day 22 - The End of Week 5
Folks,
I'm off to Vegas tomorrow...Enjoy your week.
If you get bored, keep up with our brackets...This should work for keeping score:
1 Point for First Round
2 Points for Second Round
5 Points for Third Round
10 Points for Fourth Round
15 Points for Fifth Round
20 Points for Final Game
I'm off to Vegas tomorrow...Enjoy your week.
If you get bored, keep up with our brackets...This should work for keeping score:
1 Point for First Round
2 Points for Second Round
5 Points for Third Round
10 Points for Fourth Round
15 Points for Fifth Round
20 Points for Final Game
Day 22 - The Mall Play Ground
Once again, I apologize for the lack of posting...I've decided that the theme for this week is "quality over quantity" being that I won't be posting after today anyways...
So, since I leave for Las Vegas tomorrow, I felt like I owed the kids something fun today...
On the way home from school, I decided we were going to swing by a local mall and have some lunch. Then, after a delicious & nutritious meal, we would head over to the play area and get crazy.
Naturally, none of this went exactly as I planned. I will now list what I remember...
1) We decided to order from a fast food establishment popular in the Southern U.S. known for their original chicken sandwich and manners...Not to mention, commercials featuring wacky cows who wear parachutes and suggest we eat more chicken.
Now, when I say we decided I mean I had to tell Ethan they didn't have cheese pizza anywhere since Owen & Summer wanted chicken. A slice of pizza at this place - whose name starts with "S" and ends in "Barro" - would have been too big...Plus when he heard everyone else was getting nuggets he was sold.
Troublesome Situation Avoided. Wipe the brow.
At this point, I would be remiss if I didn't mention that this place - Chick-Fil-A - gave the kids a CD-Rom as the toy in their kids meal.
Yeah.
Great.
Fantastic thinking folks...Chick-Fil-A needs a Josh Baskin on the quick.
2) After we got our food and had a lady recognize us from the hair salon on Friday, we ambled off to find our seat. Since I let the kids pick we ended up off in this odd side room...Which, at the time, I didn't realize was filled with an entire group of mentally challenged people. Which led to a lot of staring and a few questions (and a couple weird noises) and a whole lot of me telling the kids to eat...
Awkward. Not Cool. I'll pick the table from here on out.
3) Finally, once we all finished our lunch and wiped the Polynesian sauce off our elbows, cheeks, and armpits...We made a break for the play area...which, upon closer inspection, appeared to consist of random objects (Weights/Ladybugs/Turtle,/Stopwatch/etc) made of hard plastic...
Immediately, I feel like the kids are too big...Plus they have to take their shoes off...which just seems like trouble...
And then I see the mini-rides...In a flash, I'm exchanging dollar bills for quarters and have all 3 kids in the ride of their choice (Owen in a Fire Truck, Ethan in a NASCAR, and Summer in a pink and purple bus)...
This works for a bit...But it's not enough so I give in...We head into the play area.
4) This play area was like downtown Baghdad. It is the personification of complete and utter chaos. I have never in my life NOT been able to hear myself think...It was borderline terrifying.
By the way, just so I can throw it out there, it's incredible how much you can tell about a person by their personality as a kid. I was watching some of these kids just predicting futures...
You could tell which kids we're punks, which would wind up being class clowns, who would end up an alcoholic, who was athletic...There was this one little black kid who looked like a miniature Arsenio Hall and he was flying all over the place. No one could catch this kid. At this point, I should be clear that I'm not trying to make some racially based joke, I'm just trying to paint the picture for you...
(But seriously - This kid was phenomenal. I almost stole him.)
I am happy to report that Owen was the second fastest kid in the area...except for the random 10 year old whose presence prompted Owen to come up and tell me that kid was too big to be in there.
Hey, Mall Cops, thanks for telling people to take their shoes off but not Jazz-ing this giant punk...
5) I was alarmed at how many people were there...Multiple couples...Not going to lie, there was one lady who was DYNAMITE looking...I spent a little bit of time trying to catch a glimpse of her ring finger and, lo & behold, she had a Cadillac hood ornament on it...
NEXT.
There is no one else. Oh well. Time to sit there and just stare at people until we get into an unexpected (on their side) "Staring Game."
6)I don't know if I'll ever do that again with them...High stress...I looked at every straggler like a potential kidnapper.
On top of that, I REALLY wanted to trip some of those kids...Some of them were rude AND reckless. Come on parents, step it up. Keep your head up out there, put the book down and act alive.
7) I lied and said I didn't have Garrett's music today...So we listened to Kanye West's "808's & Heartbreak"...Which Ethan really liked for the drum sounds but Owen didn't care for AT ALL...So as Ethan bobbed his head to the music and Summer laughed, Owen covered his ears...
All in all, not a bad trip...just chock full of stressful situations...But we're home, we're alive...Everything is good...I hope I can say the same about my upcoming Vegas trip...
So, since I leave for Las Vegas tomorrow, I felt like I owed the kids something fun today...
On the way home from school, I decided we were going to swing by a local mall and have some lunch. Then, after a delicious & nutritious meal, we would head over to the play area and get crazy.
Naturally, none of this went exactly as I planned. I will now list what I remember...
1) We decided to order from a fast food establishment popular in the Southern U.S. known for their original chicken sandwich and manners...Not to mention, commercials featuring wacky cows who wear parachutes and suggest we eat more chicken.
Now, when I say we decided I mean I had to tell Ethan they didn't have cheese pizza anywhere since Owen & Summer wanted chicken. A slice of pizza at this place - whose name starts with "S" and ends in "Barro" - would have been too big...Plus when he heard everyone else was getting nuggets he was sold.
Troublesome Situation Avoided. Wipe the brow.
At this point, I would be remiss if I didn't mention that this place - Chick-Fil-A - gave the kids a CD-Rom as the toy in their kids meal.
Yeah.
Great.
Fantastic thinking folks...Chick-Fil-A needs a Josh Baskin on the quick.
2) After we got our food and had a lady recognize us from the hair salon on Friday, we ambled off to find our seat. Since I let the kids pick we ended up off in this odd side room...Which, at the time, I didn't realize was filled with an entire group of mentally challenged people. Which led to a lot of staring and a few questions (and a couple weird noises) and a whole lot of me telling the kids to eat...
Awkward. Not Cool. I'll pick the table from here on out.
3) Finally, once we all finished our lunch and wiped the Polynesian sauce off our elbows, cheeks, and armpits...We made a break for the play area...which, upon closer inspection, appeared to consist of random objects (Weights/Ladybugs/Turtle,/Stopwatch/etc) made of hard plastic...
Immediately, I feel like the kids are too big...Plus they have to take their shoes off...which just seems like trouble...
And then I see the mini-rides...In a flash, I'm exchanging dollar bills for quarters and have all 3 kids in the ride of their choice (Owen in a Fire Truck, Ethan in a NASCAR, and Summer in a pink and purple bus)...
This works for a bit...But it's not enough so I give in...We head into the play area.
4) This play area was like downtown Baghdad. It is the personification of complete and utter chaos. I have never in my life NOT been able to hear myself think...It was borderline terrifying.
By the way, just so I can throw it out there, it's incredible how much you can tell about a person by their personality as a kid. I was watching some of these kids just predicting futures...
You could tell which kids we're punks, which would wind up being class clowns, who would end up an alcoholic, who was athletic...There was this one little black kid who looked like a miniature Arsenio Hall and he was flying all over the place. No one could catch this kid. At this point, I should be clear that I'm not trying to make some racially based joke, I'm just trying to paint the picture for you...
(But seriously - This kid was phenomenal. I almost stole him.)
I am happy to report that Owen was the second fastest kid in the area...except for the random 10 year old whose presence prompted Owen to come up and tell me that kid was too big to be in there.
Hey, Mall Cops, thanks for telling people to take their shoes off but not Jazz-ing this giant punk...
5) I was alarmed at how many people were there...Multiple couples...Not going to lie, there was one lady who was DYNAMITE looking...I spent a little bit of time trying to catch a glimpse of her ring finger and, lo & behold, she had a Cadillac hood ornament on it...
NEXT.
There is no one else. Oh well. Time to sit there and just stare at people until we get into an unexpected (on their side) "Staring Game."
6)I don't know if I'll ever do that again with them...High stress...I looked at every straggler like a potential kidnapper.
On top of that, I REALLY wanted to trip some of those kids...Some of them were rude AND reckless. Come on parents, step it up. Keep your head up out there, put the book down and act alive.
7) I lied and said I didn't have Garrett's music today...So we listened to Kanye West's "808's & Heartbreak"...Which Ethan really liked for the drum sounds but Owen didn't care for AT ALL...So as Ethan bobbed his head to the music and Summer laughed, Owen covered his ears...
All in all, not a bad trip...just chock full of stressful situations...But we're home, we're alive...Everything is good...I hope I can say the same about my upcoming Vegas trip...
Day 22 - The Official Brackets
Sorry...I know, I know...I've been pretty lackadaisical with the posting this week...
However, at least for the time being until the day picks up, you can take a gander at our official 2009 NCAA Tournament brackets...
ETHAN
OWEN
SUMMER
BICTOR
However, at least for the time being until the day picks up, you can take a gander at our official 2009 NCAA Tournament brackets...
ETHAN
OWEN
SUMMER
BICTOR
Monday, March 16, 2009
Day 21 - How I Ended Up A Good Fit For This Job
So, I've wanted to throw out a post about how I developed the temperament to handle this position...I've definitely realized just by talking to people that this job isn't for everyone; Some of you would prefer working in a cubicle.
I find that to be insane...but whatever gets you up in the morning works for me...
However, that being said, I wasn't quite sure how to adequately explain my childhood...Being that I'm 25 I grew up in that weird period where technology was starting to boom but where I can still remember MTV playing videos and rocking out on the Original Nintendo...
As a kid I spent a LOT of time around my extended family...So at a young age I was listening to my uncle Dave's Run-DMC and 2 Live Crew cassettes...When the weather was nice, myself, my cousins and my sister would swing outside for some spirited games of Gutter Ball which basically consists of a free for all where people are trying to throw a racquetball off the roof and have it land in the gutter...
Again, it was early in the technology game and back before parents were buying their kids everything and anything to shut them up and ruin their attention span...
Anyways, one of the main culprits behind my personality with kids is my uncle Carlos who - to this day - is one of the funniest people I know...Seriously, how many of you had an uncle making up board games like "Escape from Prison" and "Back to Siberia" ??
The whole point of this post, though, was to just show you folks a little history...
This evening I was at my moms and I walked by a frame with a series of photos...Now, it's about time I come clean to everyone reading: I am related to the kids.
We're second cousins...the CEO is my first cousin...so I'm going to go ahead and post these photos as they were taken by my Uncle Carlos circa 1987-1989 and maybe, just maybe, you'll see why I ended up in a hair salon making the kids sit below a hair dryer with a magazine in front of their faces...
For the record, the photos feature - from left - my cousin Joe (the CEO's brother, my coworkers Uncle and the first "Mannyiac"), myself, my sister Tica, and The CEO...
Here's hoping you laugh...and no, I don't know why 2 are B&W and 2 are color...
I find that to be insane...but whatever gets you up in the morning works for me...
However, that being said, I wasn't quite sure how to adequately explain my childhood...Being that I'm 25 I grew up in that weird period where technology was starting to boom but where I can still remember MTV playing videos and rocking out on the Original Nintendo...
As a kid I spent a LOT of time around my extended family...So at a young age I was listening to my uncle Dave's Run-DMC and 2 Live Crew cassettes...When the weather was nice, myself, my cousins and my sister would swing outside for some spirited games of Gutter Ball which basically consists of a free for all where people are trying to throw a racquetball off the roof and have it land in the gutter...
Again, it was early in the technology game and back before parents were buying their kids everything and anything to shut them up and ruin their attention span...
Anyways, one of the main culprits behind my personality with kids is my uncle Carlos who - to this day - is one of the funniest people I know...Seriously, how many of you had an uncle making up board games like "Escape from Prison" and "Back to Siberia" ??
The whole point of this post, though, was to just show you folks a little history...
This evening I was at my moms and I walked by a frame with a series of photos...Now, it's about time I come clean to everyone reading: I am related to the kids.
We're second cousins...the CEO is my first cousin...so I'm going to go ahead and post these photos as they were taken by my Uncle Carlos circa 1987-1989 and maybe, just maybe, you'll see why I ended up in a hair salon making the kids sit below a hair dryer with a magazine in front of their faces...
For the record, the photos feature - from left - my cousin Joe (the CEO's brother, my coworkers Uncle and the first "Mannyiac"), myself, my sister Tica, and The CEO...
Here's hoping you laugh...and no, I don't know why 2 are B&W and 2 are color...
Day 21 - Owen's Joke
Owen: "Ethan, I have a joke for you...I got a good joke...How does God give us skin on us?"
Ethan: "I don't know how God gives us skin...we have skin"
Silence ensues.
I'm thoroughly confused and waiting for the punch line...I don't think it's coming.
So I ask what the joke is...
V: "Owen, whats the rest of your joke?"
O: "That's all...
V: Puzzled look...
O: (Frustrated) "Victor, I said how does God give us skin?"
V: "Yeah, but whats the joke"
O: "That is the joke..."
Ethan: "I don't know how God gives us skin...we have skin"
Silence ensues.
I'm thoroughly confused and waiting for the punch line...I don't think it's coming.
So I ask what the joke is...
V: "Owen, whats the rest of your joke?"
O: "That's all...
V: Puzzled look...
O: (Frustrated) "Victor, I said how does God give us skin?"
V: "Yeah, but whats the joke"
O: "That is the joke..."
Day 21 - The Brackets
OK "Mannyiacs," sorry for the post lapse...I know you're already worried about the upcoming vacation I will be taking so I didn't mean to send some of you head first into a bottle of Jack...
Today has been one of those days where the time has gone by really fast...We've been mixing it up...plus doing the bracket picks took FOREVER.
However, we finished and, truth be told, they aren't terrible...The kids somehow had the vision to prefer the mascots of the better teams.
Now, you might argue that this is because most of the "good" teams have athletic departments willing to hire marketing firms and high end mascot costume designers, thereby making them appear more likable or daunting...
I would say you might be right consider the Western Kentucky mascot is a red blob...
Either way, this was a fascinating experience...First off, I gave them just about every favorite except certain match ups where I thought the game could get interesting (EX: UCLA vs VCU)...Secondly, I chose a #2 seed to win...
I tried to push them in the right direction but, at a certain point, if they preferred the Arizona State Sun Devil mascot's picture over the more likely winner who am I to change the pick?
Despite having them make their selections one at a time, they all seemed to have certain mascots that resonated equally amongst the trio.
For instance, they all appreciated the mascots who appeared happy, silly, or approachable. Those that came right out looking mean were met with significant resistance. Furthermore, human mascots like West Virginia's didn't really strike a chord...and carrying around a gun didn't help the Mountaineer (or Xavier's Musketeer for that matter) rate too high on the "good guy" scale.
Duke got a LOT of love because their mascot looks pretty cool and much closer to a superhero than most mascots...that being said, years from now when Ethan & Owen read this they're going to be so ashamed of themselves...and I if I just alienated 3-5 readers from the Durham area, so be it. We're all going to be OK.
Owen & Ethan were big fans of the Kansas Jawhawk...I'm assuming Owen liked them the most since he has Kansas winning the title...Rock, Chalk, Jawhawk...
Anyways, here are each employee's Final Four - I'll either post the complete picks tomorrow or find a scanner and post our actual brackets...
Victor: Louisville, Memphis, Villanova, UNC (Memphis over UNC for the title)
Owen: Kansas, Memphis, Duke, Arizona State (Kansas over Arizona State)
Ethan: Louisville, Memphis, Duke, Syracuse (Louisville over Syracuse)...I like Ethan's bracket alot...(However, as soon as he finished picking and I told him I liked it he went to walk behind me right as I swung my hand out, clocking him in the eyebrow...Jokingly, I said he might look cool with a black eye - he won't have one, I barely got him but still it was a joke - and this has bothered him all afternoon...He's very concerned about the possibility of having to go to soccer practice looking like Rhianna...)
Summer: Louisville, UConn, Pitt, UNC (Clearly she took some chances by picking all four #1 seeds...On an unrelated note, if you bet $100 on all four #1's making the Final Four and it happened you would take home $2600...So, basically, this isn't very likely...Food for thought.)
With all that said, I'm going to color a Strawberry Shortcake picture...
Today has been one of those days where the time has gone by really fast...We've been mixing it up...plus doing the bracket picks took FOREVER.
However, we finished and, truth be told, they aren't terrible...The kids somehow had the vision to prefer the mascots of the better teams.
Now, you might argue that this is because most of the "good" teams have athletic departments willing to hire marketing firms and high end mascot costume designers, thereby making them appear more likable or daunting...
I would say you might be right consider the Western Kentucky mascot is a red blob...
Either way, this was a fascinating experience...First off, I gave them just about every favorite except certain match ups where I thought the game could get interesting (EX: UCLA vs VCU)...Secondly, I chose a #2 seed to win...
I tried to push them in the right direction but, at a certain point, if they preferred the Arizona State Sun Devil mascot's picture over the more likely winner who am I to change the pick?
Despite having them make their selections one at a time, they all seemed to have certain mascots that resonated equally amongst the trio.
For instance, they all appreciated the mascots who appeared happy, silly, or approachable. Those that came right out looking mean were met with significant resistance. Furthermore, human mascots like West Virginia's didn't really strike a chord...and carrying around a gun didn't help the Mountaineer (or Xavier's Musketeer for that matter) rate too high on the "good guy" scale.
Duke got a LOT of love because their mascot looks pretty cool and much closer to a superhero than most mascots...that being said, years from now when Ethan & Owen read this they're going to be so ashamed of themselves...and I if I just alienated 3-5 readers from the Durham area, so be it. We're all going to be OK.
Owen & Ethan were big fans of the Kansas Jawhawk...I'm assuming Owen liked them the most since he has Kansas winning the title...Rock, Chalk, Jawhawk...
Anyways, here are each employee's Final Four - I'll either post the complete picks tomorrow or find a scanner and post our actual brackets...
Victor: Louisville, Memphis, Villanova, UNC (Memphis over UNC for the title)
Owen: Kansas, Memphis, Duke, Arizona State (Kansas over Arizona State)
Ethan: Louisville, Memphis, Duke, Syracuse (Louisville over Syracuse)...I like Ethan's bracket alot...(However, as soon as he finished picking and I told him I liked it he went to walk behind me right as I swung my hand out, clocking him in the eyebrow...Jokingly, I said he might look cool with a black eye - he won't have one, I barely got him but still it was a joke - and this has bothered him all afternoon...He's very concerned about the possibility of having to go to soccer practice looking like Rhianna...)
Summer: Louisville, UConn, Pitt, UNC (Clearly she took some chances by picking all four #1 seeds...On an unrelated note, if you bet $100 on all four #1's making the Final Four and it happened you would take home $2600...So, basically, this isn't very likely...Food for thought.)
With all that said, I'm going to color a Strawberry Shortcake picture...
Day 21 - The Stamp Maker
Before the CEO left he gave Summer her Hello Kitty stamp.
I was under the impression this would not be an issue because she calmly sat at the table stamping all over one piece of paper...
5 minutes later, she walks up to me with stamps covering her hands...one under each eye...
She looks like she's got tattoos everywhere...happy Hello Kitty tats...
I was under the impression this would not be an issue because she calmly sat at the table stamping all over one piece of paper...
5 minutes later, she walks up to me with stamps covering her hands...one under each eye...
She looks like she's got tattoos everywhere...happy Hello Kitty tats...
Day 21 - The Start of Short Week 5
First of all, I'd like to welcome all of you to the greatest week of the year.
I'm not kidding...
For those of you unfamiliar with the shorts rule: Shorts are allowed starting Thursday...That's the rule - No Shorts until the start of the NCAA tournament. Mark my words...In my life, I've found that the first Thursday of the NCAA Tourney is RARELY a bad weather day...usually it looks like Jimmy V parted the clouds just for us...
So anyways, today we're going to do our brackets I hope...for those of you who voted for Summer to win our office pool...well, I've got a finger in the middle of my hand with your name on it.
As for the kids, they're all wearing cleats today and kicking soccer balls around...Apparently, today is the start of their soccer league...I can only imagine how ridiculous those games will appear.
I'll definitely go watch at least one and provide a stirring recap...For now, we're going to mix it up and draw some stuff.
I'm not kidding...
For those of you unfamiliar with the shorts rule: Shorts are allowed starting Thursday...That's the rule - No Shorts until the start of the NCAA tournament. Mark my words...In my life, I've found that the first Thursday of the NCAA Tourney is RARELY a bad weather day...usually it looks like Jimmy V parted the clouds just for us...
So anyways, today we're going to do our brackets I hope...for those of you who voted for Summer to win our office pool...well, I've got a finger in the middle of my hand with your name on it.
As for the kids, they're all wearing cleats today and kicking soccer balls around...Apparently, today is the start of their soccer league...I can only imagine how ridiculous those games will appear.
I'll definitely go watch at least one and provide a stirring recap...For now, we're going to mix it up and draw some stuff.
Friday, March 13, 2009
Day 20 - The End of the First Month
Welp, in what has to be the fastest month possible I have completed 4 weeks of Manny Service...
I have to say, it's gone way better than I could have ever anticipated or imagined. This blog business has been pretty fun too...
Thank you to all of you who have come and read it...But now I'm going home...
Your friend,
Victor
I have to say, it's gone way better than I could have ever anticipated or imagined. This blog business has been pretty fun too...
Thank you to all of you who have come and read it...But now I'm going home...
Your friend,
Victor
Day 20 - It Keeps Getting Better
I'm drawing these two what they asked for...
In the background, I hear Owen start the chant:
"Let's go!"
And Ethan finishes it out
"HOKIES!"
They have done it a good 10-12 times.
I'm beyond proud right now...
[UPDATE: Ethan just said, "When daddy gets home I'm gonna ask him to put on the Go Hokies" which prompted Owen to ask me, "will the Go Hokies will be on later when Dada gets home?"
Unfortunately, I tell them I don't know when Tech will be back on TV...they say "Ohhhh" with a hint of sadness in their voices...I love this job.]
In the background, I hear Owen start the chant:
"Let's go!"
And Ethan finishes it out
"HOKIES!"
They have done it a good 10-12 times.
I'm beyond proud right now...
[UPDATE: Ethan just said, "When daddy gets home I'm gonna ask him to put on the Go Hokies" which prompted Owen to ask me, "will the Go Hokies will be on later when Dada gets home?"
Unfortunately, I tell them I don't know when Tech will be back on TV...they say "Ohhhh" with a hint of sadness in their voices...I love this job.]
Day 20 - Lunch at Abuela's
So aside from being absolutely crushed by Virginia Tech's loss to UNC a moment ago...I have a lunch date to post about...
We went over to my Abuela's - or grandmother for the non-Hispanics - to eat picadillo, which doesn't look appealing but I promise is. If you wanted more proof, it happens to be what the kids requested...
Right about now, I should mention that I'm an idiot for not doing this more often. I imagine most of us have grandmothers like this but all the lady wanted to do was feed us. This was WAY better than eating a peanut butter & jelly or Chef Boyardee...
So I had the daily special (the picadillo) and the soup du jour (I have no clue what this was but it was good...alright, fine, this will reinforce stereotypes but there were red beans in it...happy?)
To top it all off, she had one of those mini Coca-Cola Originals for me (ice cold) and one of her specialty desserts - arroz con leche which, again, tastes better than it looks...
The rest of the time she kept squeezing the kids and asking them how to say words in Spanish while I watched the first half of the Tech game. All in all, this has been a dynamite Friday.
Back in a bit...Owen wants me to draw him a Hokie Bird (as I smile mischievously knowing this is killing their UVA-fan father...) and Ethan wants a drum set because he was incredibly disappointed with how boring and small a harmonica looked when drawn...
We went over to my Abuela's - or grandmother for the non-Hispanics - to eat picadillo, which doesn't look appealing but I promise is. If you wanted more proof, it happens to be what the kids requested...
Right about now, I should mention that I'm an idiot for not doing this more often. I imagine most of us have grandmothers like this but all the lady wanted to do was feed us. This was WAY better than eating a peanut butter & jelly or Chef Boyardee...
So I had the daily special (the picadillo) and the soup du jour (I have no clue what this was but it was good...alright, fine, this will reinforce stereotypes but there were red beans in it...happy?)
To top it all off, she had one of those mini Coca-Cola Originals for me (ice cold) and one of her specialty desserts - arroz con leche which, again, tastes better than it looks...
The rest of the time she kept squeezing the kids and asking them how to say words in Spanish while I watched the first half of the Tech game. All in all, this has been a dynamite Friday.
Back in a bit...Owen wants me to draw him a Hokie Bird (as I smile mischievously knowing this is killing their UVA-fan father...) and Ethan wants a drum set because he was incredibly disappointed with how boring and small a harmonica looked when drawn...
Day 20 - Getting The Hair Did
So our company trip to the hair salon went pretty well...The coworkers were in great spirits and they were definitely well behaved...
Ethan & Owen look much older right now...Summer has a bunch of curls in her head so she's looking very pretty...
Not one complaint. No tears. Everyone got a lollipop. Summer also apparently loves old women because she was talking them up left and right...
I'll be back in a bit after we settle in...but I will say the highlight was when we left and Ethan asked me if we could watch the Virginia Tech game...
"ABSOLUTELY!!!"
Day 20 - What A Morning
I just had all three kids lined up on chairs watching me make them eggs as Gill (Garrett's band) was requested off my laptop...
Ethan changed his mind to go watch Tigger & Pooh but Owen and Summer told me I made good eggs.
It was pretty cool, not going to lie, I felt like I was on the Food Network...
Ethan changed his mind to go watch Tigger & Pooh but Owen and Summer told me I made good eggs.
It was pretty cool, not going to lie, I felt like I was on the Food Network...
Day 20 - Let's Get It On
Summer's been a star this week...I feel like she and I really turned a corner and now she's even pretty cool when the parents come home...I came by last night (just to hangout with the CEO/CFO) and she seemed pretty happy to see me.
Trust me, this is significant progress...I'm loving it...
She especially cracked me up this morning by coming down stairs, turning the corner, seeing me, and stopping dead in her tracks...
So I did what comes naturally to me:
"Hellllooooooo"
Summer runs back upstairs...and says the following:
"Hey guys! Bictor's here...Hellloooooooo"
Then she came down with her coworkers and they all say it...Everyone is fired up today...4 haircuts and then off to my grandmothers house (or as she'll be called "Abuela" which is a really creative name for her...since it means Grandmother in Spanish my family clearly swung for the fences on this one...Side rant: My parents better be ready for some crazy names like "mahatma" and "nacho")
It's cheap snowing right now (i.e. - looks nice coming down and then immediately becomes slush) so Owen told me we have to remember to wear our "fat jackets."
I'm excited about today...
Oh, and so is Ethan, because for unknown reasons he's walking around wearing cleats...right now, he sounds like Gregory Hines
PS - I'd like to thank Tica for starting my car for me this morning...That was very nice of you...
Trust me, this is significant progress...I'm loving it...
She especially cracked me up this morning by coming down stairs, turning the corner, seeing me, and stopping dead in her tracks...
So I did what comes naturally to me:
"Hellllooooooo"
Summer runs back upstairs...and says the following:
"Hey guys! Bictor's here...Hellloooooooo"
Then she came down with her coworkers and they all say it...Everyone is fired up today...4 haircuts and then off to my grandmothers house (or as she'll be called "Abuela" which is a really creative name for her...since it means Grandmother in Spanish my family clearly swung for the fences on this one...Side rant: My parents better be ready for some crazy names like "mahatma" and "nacho")
It's cheap snowing right now (i.e. - looks nice coming down and then immediately becomes slush) so Owen told me we have to remember to wear our "fat jackets."
I'm excited about today...
Oh, and so is Ethan, because for unknown reasons he's walking around wearing cleats...right now, he sounds like Gregory Hines
PS - I'd like to thank Tica for starting my car for me this morning...That was very nice of you...
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Day 19 - I Feel Like A Punk
So 10 minutes after Ethan came up to me, wrapped his arms around my neck in a tight grip, said "big hug", kissed me on the cheek, and told me that he loves me...I made him cry.
Sometimes, all it really takes to make him cry is the idea you're upset with him...I can't even imagine how wrecked he will be when he gets into high school, gets caught drinking, and CEO/CFO drop the old "We aren't mad at you, we're just disappointed."
Regardless, I put Summer down for her nap, go down the hall and hear the boys in their room running around and - as soon as they hear me coming - a duet of "Shhhhhh" which makes me chuckle as I come in the room to lay down the law.
Because I just put Summer down I speak in that hushed "I'm trying to get my point across voice without speaking loudly" like when you argue with your significant other at a restaurant or church...
That might be a bad example...but yeah...all I said was the following (and keep in mind I'm whispering all this)
"Hey Hey Hey! What is going on in here? You guys know you can't be up here while Summer's trying to nap...let's go, get downstairs..."
Neither catch my Saved By The Bell reference...But Owen's on step 4 by "You guys know" as Ethan is just sputtering...And then it happens...
He turns, looks at me, and completely breaks down...
"I-I-I-Viiiictor I'm sowwwwwy"
So now I feel terrible...I explain to him I'm not mad at him, just trying to keep Summer from being mad at me...To fix it all, we hug at the top of the stairs and head down holding hands.
Sometimes, all it really takes to make him cry is the idea you're upset with him...I can't even imagine how wrecked he will be when he gets into high school, gets caught drinking, and CEO/CFO drop the old "We aren't mad at you, we're just disappointed."
Regardless, I put Summer down for her nap, go down the hall and hear the boys in their room running around and - as soon as they hear me coming - a duet of "Shhhhhh" which makes me chuckle as I come in the room to lay down the law.
Because I just put Summer down I speak in that hushed "I'm trying to get my point across voice without speaking loudly" like when you argue with your significant other at a restaurant or church...
That might be a bad example...but yeah...all I said was the following (and keep in mind I'm whispering all this)
"Hey Hey Hey! What is going on in here? You guys know you can't be up here while Summer's trying to nap...let's go, get downstairs..."
Neither catch my Saved By The Bell reference...But Owen's on step 4 by "You guys know" as Ethan is just sputtering...And then it happens...
He turns, looks at me, and completely breaks down...
"I-I-I-Viiiictor I'm sowwwwwy"
So now I feel terrible...I explain to him I'm not mad at him, just trying to keep Summer from being mad at me...To fix it all, we hug at the top of the stairs and head down holding hands.
Day 19 - BIG NEWS!!!
OK. I'm beyond excited right now....As in, this kid excited:
I should come right out and say I'm also furious at myself for not thinking of this idea I'm about to blow your mind with...But the idea is so unbelievably fantastic and such a potential goldmine that I cant really be mad at all...I'm just excited to do it.
So right now I need to thank the loyal and brilliant reader who emailed me to suggest it...I don't know this person. I've never met them and all I can say is any guy reading this will immediately love her for her idea...So Laura Cilmi, thank you.
Without further ado, here's the idea:
WE'RE DOING AN OFFICE NCAA TOURNAMENT POOL!!!!!
Myself and the Coworkers will fill out brackets. Naturally, being that I have a distinct advantage over my competition, I will not cheat. I'm going to fill it out fair & square and really try to win this thing.
That being said, I'm going to tie one hand behind my back by not allowing myself to choose a #1 seed to win the title.
I've been thinking what might be the best way to have the kids pick...and I think the best way is to just ask them which mascot would win...
For example, if its a Tiger versus a Highlander, I will explain that a Highlander is a guy with a big sword and a tiger can rip off it's owners face in the middle of a giant Vegas stage show...Then they will decide who will win...I hope they pick the Tiger...but I will not rig it for them.
So, if Summer picks Robert Morris to win the whole shebang...so be it...
Either way, I'm incredibly excited about this idea...Although, I should mention the blog will most likely go into sleep mode starting Wednesday, March 18th as I will be departing for Las Vegas, Nevada and partaking in a fun, safe, debauchery free weekend alongside some friends...
Since I will be in the thick of Hell's Waiting Room for 5 days I will do my best to post at some point with a bracket update...However, regardless, my goal is to post everyone's bracket onto the blog and allow those readers who care the chance to keep tabs on which kid has the best chance to become the next Brandon Lang...
I would assume this will take place Monday with my posting our results on Tuesday.
I hope you're half as excited as I am...Because I'm freaking out with excitement...until I lose and feel incredible shame...
[UPDATE: I need some ideas for potential prizes to give the winner...private concert by Garrett...a Harmonica? Throw something out there...and if I finish last what should I do?]
I should come right out and say I'm also furious at myself for not thinking of this idea I'm about to blow your mind with...But the idea is so unbelievably fantastic and such a potential goldmine that I cant really be mad at all...I'm just excited to do it.
So right now I need to thank the loyal and brilliant reader who emailed me to suggest it...I don't know this person. I've never met them and all I can say is any guy reading this will immediately love her for her idea...So Laura Cilmi, thank you.
Without further ado, here's the idea:
WE'RE DOING AN OFFICE NCAA TOURNAMENT POOL!!!!!
Myself and the Coworkers will fill out brackets. Naturally, being that I have a distinct advantage over my competition, I will not cheat. I'm going to fill it out fair & square and really try to win this thing.
That being said, I'm going to tie one hand behind my back by not allowing myself to choose a #1 seed to win the title.
I've been thinking what might be the best way to have the kids pick...and I think the best way is to just ask them which mascot would win...
For example, if its a Tiger versus a Highlander, I will explain that a Highlander is a guy with a big sword and a tiger can rip off it's owners face in the middle of a giant Vegas stage show...Then they will decide who will win...I hope they pick the Tiger...but I will not rig it for them.
So, if Summer picks Robert Morris to win the whole shebang...so be it...
Either way, I'm incredibly excited about this idea...Although, I should mention the blog will most likely go into sleep mode starting Wednesday, March 18th as I will be departing for Las Vegas, Nevada and partaking in a fun, safe, debauchery free weekend alongside some friends...
Since I will be in the thick of Hell's Waiting Room for 5 days I will do my best to post at some point with a bracket update...However, regardless, my goal is to post everyone's bracket onto the blog and allow those readers who care the chance to keep tabs on which kid has the best chance to become the next Brandon Lang...
I would assume this will take place Monday with my posting our results on Tuesday.
I hope you're half as excited as I am...Because I'm freaking out with excitement...until I lose and feel incredible shame...
[UPDATE: I need some ideas for potential prizes to give the winner...private concert by Garrett...a Harmonica? Throw something out there...and if I finish last what should I do?]
Day 19 - Lunch
I asked everyone what they wanted for lunch...Ethan & Owen rolled with the PBJ...
Summer asked for "biscetti" so she's either really cultured and mature for her age and wants a biscotti...or she wants spaghetti and cant say it...
I'm going to go ahead and roll the dice on this one and go with the spaghetti as biscetti...
Summer asked for "biscetti" so she's either really cultured and mature for her age and wants a biscotti...or she wants spaghetti and cant say it...
I'm going to go ahead and roll the dice on this one and go with the spaghetti as biscetti...
Day 19 - Impressed.
On the ride home we had to listen to the "Drum Song" which Ethan has tabbed as his favorite...
It's actually called "Hotel 173" but it starts with the drums and that works for him...
A few songs later we come across another song that starts with drums...Summer says its the "Drum Song"
Ethan gets fired up and flustered for a second...
"No its not, this is 'I got a lil problem' not 'drum song' Summa"
The first 5 words of this particular song are "I've got a little problem..."
Should I be impressed or am I just inexperienced with kids?
It's actually called "Hotel 173" but it starts with the drums and that works for him...
A few songs later we come across another song that starts with drums...Summer says its the "Drum Song"
Ethan gets fired up and flustered for a second...
"No its not, this is 'I got a lil problem' not 'drum song' Summa"
The first 5 words of this particular song are "I've got a little problem..."
Should I be impressed or am I just inexperienced with kids?
Day 19 - The Trip to School
Today's ride consisted solely of music questions and music topics...
As I said yesterday, Ethan has a new favorite but the funny thing is its now Summer who will ask for Garrett's music as soon as we get in the car...This is a fairly recent development that proves one thing and one thing only:
Girls are SUCKERS for a guy with a guitar.
Remember my post yesterday about my kid playing pro sports? Forget it.
New goal: My kids will be musicians (and they will thank me later...)
Anyways, Ethan is transfixed by the sound/idea of a harmonica...he just cant wrap his head around my description of it (which, in all fairness to him, was a bit dicey since I described it as a silver looking remote control that you put up to your lips...)
So I asked him if he wanted me to draw him a picture.
He says yes.
Owen pipes up and asks for me to draw him drums (this seems to be the thing he likes the most which fits his personality because he's a bit more inclined to raise hell)
Lastly, Summer isn't going to get left out, so she chimes in...
"A-A-And Bictor, I wanna tuba"
A TUBA???
Who wants a tuba?
I responded with "A tuba??"
To which Ethan felt the need to explain what it is.
"It's a big brass instrument victor"
I kid you not. That was a direct quote. I wonder if they know all brass instruments...
Side Note: On my way home I stopped by Einstein Bros. Bagels...Because (and those who go out to eat with me know this) I have a tendency to ask the people serving me for a suggestion, I did so once again.
The suggestion was the Sante Fe Egg Wrap...it is DELICIOUS.
So it has my approval...you know, if you gave a crap about my opinion.
As I said yesterday, Ethan has a new favorite but the funny thing is its now Summer who will ask for Garrett's music as soon as we get in the car...This is a fairly recent development that proves one thing and one thing only:
Girls are SUCKERS for a guy with a guitar.
Remember my post yesterday about my kid playing pro sports? Forget it.
New goal: My kids will be musicians (and they will thank me later...)
Anyways, Ethan is transfixed by the sound/idea of a harmonica...he just cant wrap his head around my description of it (which, in all fairness to him, was a bit dicey since I described it as a silver looking remote control that you put up to your lips...)
So I asked him if he wanted me to draw him a picture.
He says yes.
Owen pipes up and asks for me to draw him drums (this seems to be the thing he likes the most which fits his personality because he's a bit more inclined to raise hell)
Lastly, Summer isn't going to get left out, so she chimes in...
"A-A-And Bictor, I wanna tuba"
A TUBA???
Who wants a tuba?
I responded with "A tuba??"
To which Ethan felt the need to explain what it is.
"It's a big brass instrument victor"
I kid you not. That was a direct quote. I wonder if they know all brass instruments...
Side Note: On my way home I stopped by Einstein Bros. Bagels...Because (and those who go out to eat with me know this) I have a tendency to ask the people serving me for a suggestion, I did so once again.
The suggestion was the Sante Fe Egg Wrap...it is DELICIOUS.
So it has my approval...you know, if you gave a crap about my opinion.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Day 18 - I Still Haven't Learned
I made the mistake of telling the kids I would make them something today. Again.
This time, while discussing musical instruments in the car, I told them I'd make everyone a guitar.
Black & Orange for Ethan, Blue & Yellow for Owen and Pink & Purple for Summer...
So while I draw that the kids are watching some show I found on HBO called I Spy...It's interactive and I figured this was better than letting them go completely comatose.
The funny part is Owen wasn't interested at first...but as he heard the opening song you could see him think to himself, "Should I?"
After a few minutes of the opening chatter they announced it was time to play I Spy.
Owen was out of his seat and sprinting in 1.5 seconds...
I'm going to make him run the 40 later and videotape it for Scouts, Inc. and Rivals.com...I figure the least I can do is drum up some interest and get the kid a division 1 football scholarship...
This time, while discussing musical instruments in the car, I told them I'd make everyone a guitar.
Black & Orange for Ethan, Blue & Yellow for Owen and Pink & Purple for Summer...
So while I draw that the kids are watching some show I found on HBO called I Spy...It's interactive and I figured this was better than letting them go completely comatose.
The funny part is Owen wasn't interested at first...but as he heard the opening song you could see him think to himself, "Should I?"
After a few minutes of the opening chatter they announced it was time to play I Spy.
Owen was out of his seat and sprinting in 1.5 seconds...
I'm going to make him run the 40 later and videotape it for Scouts, Inc. and Rivals.com...I figure the least I can do is drum up some interest and get the kid a division 1 football scholarship...
Day 18 - Hey Showtime
Who at Showtime is in charge of separating movies into acceptable categories?
Dirty Dancing & Bio-Dome are both under "Family Movies."
Yeah, Dirty Dancing, where a girl has an ABORTION is on the list...
"Hey gang, it's family time, let's get comfy and watch as Patrick Swayze - a grown man - seduces a girl named Baby as she vacations with her family...Pass the popcorn!"
And Bio-Dome? Look, I love that movie more than just about anyone...but that's a bit iffy too...They grow weed at one point...Bio-Dome has some really weird parts if you pay attention...
Again, who the hell are behind these decisions?
Dirty Dancing & Bio-Dome are both under "Family Movies."
Yeah, Dirty Dancing, where a girl has an ABORTION is on the list...
"Hey gang, it's family time, let's get comfy and watch as Patrick Swayze - a grown man - seduces a girl named Baby as she vacations with her family...Pass the popcorn!"
And Bio-Dome? Look, I love that movie more than just about anyone...but that's a bit iffy too...They grow weed at one point...Bio-Dome has some really weird parts if you pay attention...
Again, who the hell are behind these decisions?
Day 18 - Conversation Over Lunch
Me: "Summer, wipe your face...How'd you get pizza all over it??"
Owen: "Because she's a messy eater Victor"
Ethan " Yeaaaa...y-y-you know why shes always so messy? Because shes a messy eater..."
Me: "Hahaha. yeah she is but she's still cute, right?"
Ethan: "Yeaaaa but shes still a messy eataaaa..."
Owen: "Because she's a messy eater Victor"
Ethan " Yeaaaa...y-y-you know why shes always so messy? Because shes a messy eater..."
Me: "Hahaha. yeah she is but she's still cute, right?"
Ethan: "Yeaaaa but shes still a messy eataaaa..."
Day 18 - The Trip Home From School
Sweet deal. I saw that in the Office freezer we have a Tombstone Pizza, half cheese/half pepperoni...I love Tombstone Pizza for some reason.
So my goal was to nudge the coworkers towards pizza for lunch. After Owen resisted slightly ("I don't like pizza" - lie!) he told me he liked cheese while Summer & Ethan like pepperoni...
LUCKILY I HAVE THE HALF & HALF!
So we're going to eat pizza...(and yeah, I just whispered "yessss" like Ethan does)
- Another fun highlight of the ride home were when this guy blatantly ran a red light, the car next to us honked, and the kids wondered what happened.
First I said the guy was dumb but then I switched to dangerous.
They haven't learned "Dangerous" yet...
Try to explain dangerous without using other, equally hard, words...
I settle on saying the guy is bad.
Summer chimes in:
"Bi-Bictor, when he gets home he should put himself in time out..."
- Lastly, I know I talk about this a lot so feel free to send me a mean email but I keep finding it funny. For the first few weeks they would request Gare-wet but weren't entirely certain...This week its become clear they can actually tell when it is and isn't (meaning they've come to recognize Eli's voice who I've been saying is Garrett to cut down on explanations)...
Today they took it one step further. I forgot to mention how on the way to school Ethan was humming along to the one song he seems to really like.
This cracked me up.
However, on the way home, he asked for the song with drums & harmonica...So his listening has progressed from thinking he likes something...to liking something...to learning the melody of something...to knowing the difference between the songs he likes based on the instruments he hears.
I don't know what kids are and are not supposed to know by the age of 4 so I find this kind of cool.
I also found out my aunt - their grandmother - has maracas because when they heard them in the song Owen said Grandma had some...I find this incredibly interesting.
So my goal was to nudge the coworkers towards pizza for lunch. After Owen resisted slightly ("I don't like pizza" - lie!) he told me he liked cheese while Summer & Ethan like pepperoni...
LUCKILY I HAVE THE HALF & HALF!
So we're going to eat pizza...(and yeah, I just whispered "yessss" like Ethan does)
- Another fun highlight of the ride home were when this guy blatantly ran a red light, the car next to us honked, and the kids wondered what happened.
First I said the guy was dumb but then I switched to dangerous.
They haven't learned "Dangerous" yet...
Try to explain dangerous without using other, equally hard, words...
I settle on saying the guy is bad.
Summer chimes in:
"Bi-Bictor, when he gets home he should put himself in time out..."
- Lastly, I know I talk about this a lot so feel free to send me a mean email but I keep finding it funny. For the first few weeks they would request Gare-wet but weren't entirely certain...This week its become clear they can actually tell when it is and isn't (meaning they've come to recognize Eli's voice who I've been saying is Garrett to cut down on explanations)...
Today they took it one step further. I forgot to mention how on the way to school Ethan was humming along to the one song he seems to really like.
This cracked me up.
However, on the way home, he asked for the song with drums & harmonica...So his listening has progressed from thinking he likes something...to liking something...to learning the melody of something...to knowing the difference between the songs he likes based on the instruments he hears.
I don't know what kids are and are not supposed to know by the age of 4 so I find this kind of cool.
I also found out my aunt - their grandmother - has maracas because when they heard them in the song Owen said Grandma had some...I find this incredibly interesting.
Day 18 - Big Question
I cannot, for the life of me, figure out how these people end up acting on kid shows...
For instance, Summer and I are enjoying "Imagination Movers" which seems to feature 4 dudes dressed like, well, movers who are apparently a band (sort of)...
I went to the library (aka Wikipedia) and found out these guys were 4 friends and neighbors who pitched the show to their local PBS affiliate.
Now I have no idea why but I find this fascinating. How did this come about? Which one was the first to suggest forming a band to play kid rock?
Truth be told, the songs weren't half bad and I'm pretty excited to report they are releasing a full length album through Disney on March 18th, 2008 titled "Juice Box Heroes" which is good news.
Yet, none of that really addresses the career arc of the hosts of Blues Clues or Yo Gabba Gabba - I refuse to believe their dream was to do that. I feel like they had to have somehow just stumbled into a gig and said "Eff it."
How do I know this? Because they have bills to pay like the rest of us.
For instance, Summer and I are enjoying "Imagination Movers" which seems to feature 4 dudes dressed like, well, movers who are apparently a band (sort of)...
I went to the library (aka Wikipedia) and found out these guys were 4 friends and neighbors who pitched the show to their local PBS affiliate.
Now I have no idea why but I find this fascinating. How did this come about? Which one was the first to suggest forming a band to play kid rock?
Truth be told, the songs weren't half bad and I'm pretty excited to report they are releasing a full length album through Disney on March 18th, 2008 titled "Juice Box Heroes" which is good news.
Yet, none of that really addresses the career arc of the hosts of Blues Clues or Yo Gabba Gabba - I refuse to believe their dream was to do that. I feel like they had to have somehow just stumbled into a gig and said "Eff it."
How do I know this? Because they have bills to pay like the rest of us.
Day 18 - You Can't Let Them Out Of Your Sight
I lost Summer for a minute...I was sitting at the kitchen table coloring with her and she got up and ambled off...I was trying really hard to stay within the lines so I didn't immediately notice.
After a few seconds I noticed I was alone and coloring a Strawberry Shortcake picture...
I call out for her once.
Nothing...
I call out "Summer?" again...
Again, no answer...
But I can hear a clicking noise...
I get up and go into the living room calling her name...And there she is with her back to me at the couch and I can tell her little hands are at work.
As I get about 3 feet from her she turns and I can see her Bubbletape Gum container in her hand and an ENORMOUS wad of the gum in her mouth...I don't know how she got it because I put every one's gum on a high shelf yesterday...I'm blaming the CEO and CFO on this one...
Because, as I've previously said, my number one priority is to make sure I keep these kids alive I made her spit the gum out into my hand.
Awesome.
To be nice, I rip a smaller chunk off her gigantic chunk and give it back.
I have put the gum back up with the rest...I don't want a repeat of yesterday when Owen's gum somehow ended up on the carpet under their play table...
After a few seconds I noticed I was alone and coloring a Strawberry Shortcake picture...
I call out for her once.
Nothing...
I call out "Summer?" again...
Again, no answer...
But I can hear a clicking noise...
I get up and go into the living room calling her name...And there she is with her back to me at the couch and I can tell her little hands are at work.
As I get about 3 feet from her she turns and I can see her Bubbletape Gum container in her hand and an ENORMOUS wad of the gum in her mouth...I don't know how she got it because I put every one's gum on a high shelf yesterday...I'm blaming the CEO and CFO on this one...
Because, as I've previously said, my number one priority is to make sure I keep these kids alive I made her spit the gum out into my hand.
Awesome.
To be nice, I rip a smaller chunk off her gigantic chunk and give it back.
I have put the gum back up with the rest...I don't want a repeat of yesterday when Owen's gum somehow ended up on the carpet under their play table...
Day 18 - Coloring Books Are Hard To Find
For those of you in search of coloring books (which basically means everyone reading this) here are a few tips:
Don't go to Ben Franklin Crafts...
OK, I lied, that's my only tip at the moment.
Look, Ben Franklin Crafts is a great store if you need a frame for that needlepoint picture of yourself you had your grandmother make you...Or if you need that weird green foam to put your fake flowers in...
But otherwise, that place smells like death and dust...And the selection is weak.
You know its a crappy selection when you walk in and the 3 year old girl you're with goes
"I wanna try a diffint store Bictor"
Anyways, I'm home now with a happy Summer and 3 coloring books...to avoid a brawl I purchased Ethan & Owen identical coloring books.
In conclusion, I win.
On a side note, I want to mention something unrelated...I think my favorite part of the week is when its just Summer and I...And I don't say that because I don't love being around Ethan & Owen, because I absolutely do. The funniest comments come from those two but there is something great and peaceful about hanging out alone with Summer...Especially if shes in a good mood.
The question I get a lot since I started is whether I really enjoy doing what I'm doing and whether or not I think I'll want kids.
Look, if I didn't want kids one day (like years from now one day) I wouldn't have taken on the job and, if anything, I feel like I have a good idea of whats coming. Seriously, I'm of the mentality that if you test yourself with vomit, human excrement, and nut shots from a light up sword (if you're a guy) you will, at the very least, have a decent idea of what lies in store for you...
That being said, in just under a month on the job I have been convinced that I'm 100% down for kids (again, in a few years...) because I really do love what I'm doing.
[Females, altogether now - AWWW]
However, like any other red blooded male, when I have kids I'd like at least 1 or 2 boys because I want to retire in style watching my son (sons???) play professional sports...Hence my insistence that my future wife allow us to run every potential name through the Stadium test...
Oh, you aren't familiar with the Stadium Test? That's when you simulate saying your kids name like its coming out of a loud speaker at a sporting event...I'm a big believer in your name bringing you success...Honestly, there is a reason Gibran Hamdan is an NFL 3rd string Quarterback...and it's not talent. His name is awful. Had his parents simulated his name they would have known and maybe, just maybe, he'd be a starter today...
And yet, with all that out in the open, I've resigned myself to the fact I'm going to be afflicted with the Daughter Disease...
Why am I telling you all this? Because I kind of realized today that I'm cool with that...Guys are a lot of energy and I'm not really used to that because I grew up with all women...so screw it...
Bring on the daughters...I just want my future wife to understand my daughters are going to look like this until they're, at least, 21...The only difference is mine won't have a cell phone...
Don't go to Ben Franklin Crafts...
OK, I lied, that's my only tip at the moment.
Look, Ben Franklin Crafts is a great store if you need a frame for that needlepoint picture of yourself you had your grandmother make you...Or if you need that weird green foam to put your fake flowers in...
But otherwise, that place smells like death and dust...And the selection is weak.
You know its a crappy selection when you walk in and the 3 year old girl you're with goes
"I wanna try a diffint store Bictor"
Anyways, I'm home now with a happy Summer and 3 coloring books...to avoid a brawl I purchased Ethan & Owen identical coloring books.
In conclusion, I win.
On a side note, I want to mention something unrelated...I think my favorite part of the week is when its just Summer and I...And I don't say that because I don't love being around Ethan & Owen, because I absolutely do. The funniest comments come from those two but there is something great and peaceful about hanging out alone with Summer...Especially if shes in a good mood.
The question I get a lot since I started is whether I really enjoy doing what I'm doing and whether or not I think I'll want kids.
Look, if I didn't want kids one day (like years from now one day) I wouldn't have taken on the job and, if anything, I feel like I have a good idea of whats coming. Seriously, I'm of the mentality that if you test yourself with vomit, human excrement, and nut shots from a light up sword (if you're a guy) you will, at the very least, have a decent idea of what lies in store for you...
That being said, in just under a month on the job I have been convinced that I'm 100% down for kids (again, in a few years...) because I really do love what I'm doing.
[Females, altogether now - AWWW]
However, like any other red blooded male, when I have kids I'd like at least 1 or 2 boys because I want to retire in style watching my son (sons???) play professional sports...Hence my insistence that my future wife allow us to run every potential name through the Stadium test...
Oh, you aren't familiar with the Stadium Test? That's when you simulate saying your kids name like its coming out of a loud speaker at a sporting event...I'm a big believer in your name bringing you success...Honestly, there is a reason Gibran Hamdan is an NFL 3rd string Quarterback...and it's not talent. His name is awful. Had his parents simulated his name they would have known and maybe, just maybe, he'd be a starter today...
And yet, with all that out in the open, I've resigned myself to the fact I'm going to be afflicted with the Daughter Disease...
Why am I telling you all this? Because I kind of realized today that I'm cool with that...Guys are a lot of energy and I'm not really used to that because I grew up with all women...so screw it...
Bring on the daughters...I just want my future wife to understand my daughters are going to look like this until they're, at least, 21...The only difference is mine won't have a cell phone...
Day 18 - 180
Summer just went and pulled a "Christian Slater in Gleaming The Cube" 180...
I'm truly befuddled. As my boy John C at Dominion Power told me once, "I'm buffalo'ed"
I don't understand that phrase either but I've been dying to throw it in a conversation at least once...
Mission Accomplished.
Anyways, once we walked out the door she was back in MVP mode...
I think I need to discuss with upper management why my associate hates me when they're around...
I'm truly befuddled. As my boy John C at Dominion Power told me once, "I'm buffalo'ed"
I don't understand that phrase either but I've been dying to throw it in a conversation at least once...
Mission Accomplished.
Anyways, once we walked out the door she was back in MVP mode...
I think I need to discuss with upper management why my associate hates me when they're around...
Day 18 - The Calm Before The Storm
For the last two days I would have awarded Summer MVP honors...She's been great.
Today, she is in about the worst mood possible.
It's also the day I have her all day while the boys go to school...
Grrrreat
Today, she is in about the worst mood possible.
It's also the day I have her all day while the boys go to school...
Grrrreat
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Day 17 - Proud of Myself
Aside from being half alarmed that Summer is still sleeping, I'm also swelling with pride right now.
Owen just came over and told me he wanted to clean up.
BINGO!
They seem to enjoy the process of putting things they want in one spot and the rest elsewhere...It's a very involved process so I suppose that helps...
However, I'm really hoping this isn't because the last few times I gave them something or it's going to end up like this...
Regardless, I couldn't be more impressed right now...
Owen just came over and told me he wanted to clean up.
BINGO!
They seem to enjoy the process of putting things they want in one spot and the rest elsewhere...It's a very involved process so I suppose that helps...
However, I'm really hoping this isn't because the last few times I gave them something or it's going to end up like this...
Regardless, I couldn't be more impressed right now...
Day 17 - Summer Sleeps In
I have to say one of the cooler aspects of Summer's nap time is when I have to go get her. In every instance, it's a complete and total roll of the dice and I have no idea which Summer is going to be behind the door.
If all went well, she's an absolute delight. But if she didn't get to sleep enough or someone woke her up...wow.
I just went to check on her and she was just laying there, straight up and down, eyes wide open, staring at the ceiling.
I ask her three times how she slept. She ignores each question and avoids eye contact.
I change the question and ask her if she would rather go downstairs with me or stay in her bed for a bit more.
She chooses to stay in bed.
I ask if she would prefer coming downstairs on her own when shes ready or if she'd like me to come get her.
She says she wants me to come get her.
Of course she does...She's 100% princess.
If all went well, she's an absolute delight. But if she didn't get to sleep enough or someone woke her up...wow.
I just went to check on her and she was just laying there, straight up and down, eyes wide open, staring at the ceiling.
I ask her three times how she slept. She ignores each question and avoids eye contact.
I change the question and ask her if she would rather go downstairs with me or stay in her bed for a bit more.
She chooses to stay in bed.
I ask if she would prefer coming downstairs on her own when shes ready or if she'd like me to come get her.
She says she wants me to come get her.
Of course she does...She's 100% princess.
Day 17 - Becoming Aesop
I'll be honest: when I first started working at Kids Inc. I expected to be a phenomenal story teller...
And yet, much to my dismay, I was awful. My voice was far from smooth, my cadence was rough & herky jerky...
All in all, the librarians I grew up with would have been appalled at my weak attempts to entertain...
That all being said, I can feel the improvement...My voice is getting bigger...the dramatic pauses are getting more and more dynamic...
Basically, I'm rocking the performances these days...I just killed it on Cinderella...Gus & Jaq (mice) have never sounded cooler. Lady Tremaine sounded like the dirt bag she is...Needless to say, I'm patting myself on the back.
Now, I don't say any of this to brag. I say this in case someone would like me to come to their house on the weekends and perform for a party or even just a family. I could use the extra loot.
And yet, much to my dismay, I was awful. My voice was far from smooth, my cadence was rough & herky jerky...
All in all, the librarians I grew up with would have been appalled at my weak attempts to entertain...
That all being said, I can feel the improvement...My voice is getting bigger...the dramatic pauses are getting more and more dynamic...
Basically, I'm rocking the performances these days...I just killed it on Cinderella...Gus & Jaq (mice) have never sounded cooler. Lady Tremaine sounded like the dirt bag she is...Needless to say, I'm patting myself on the back.
Now, I don't say any of this to brag. I say this in case someone would like me to come to their house on the weekends and perform for a party or even just a family. I could use the extra loot.
Day 17 - The Trip Home
Gahleeee. I was 10 minutes late picking up the kids today. I feel like a real class act...
Now, truth be told, I didn't think there was a chance in Hell that school would be able to get to the Museum and back with a bunch of kids within 3 hours...Seriously, what are the odds of that? 1 in 100K?
Naturally, since I have awful luck, they were the last kids left...
Yeah. Apparently, I'm "that guy."
As always, the ride home started with Ethan wanting to hear Garrett. It's progressed from cute to borderline frustrating because he's picked up enough to know when I'm trying to slip one by him...I guess it's my fault for thinking I can pass Lil Wayne off as Garrett, huh?
Either way, I guess today the song we started on wasn't a usual suspect because they were all confused. In this particular song a harmonica is used...Now, for those of us lucky enough to be raised in the 90's (i.e. Born before 1986 but after 1980) a harmonica isn't something new since you probably own at LEAST one Blues Traveler CD...
However, for a kid, a Harmonica is apparently mind blowing. They know drums and guitars...but trying to introduce them to a harmonica while driving is like trying to describe what the color red looks like to a deaf & blind guy...
I wanted to do the motion/noise but since I follow proper driving protocol, I keep my hands at 10 and 2 at all times...
So I just did the noise...
Which they already were hearing...
Which just confused everyone.
As such, they became alarmed at how Garrett could possibly handle all the instruments.
Time to blow their minds...
"Guys, the person playing the harmonica is named Eli and he's in Garrett's band too"
As this rocked Ethan & Owens world, no doubt convincing them that the guy who came over to play was an out & out fraud, Summer piped up:
"Two peeble? Dat's silly Bictor!"
At this point, I feel I should extend a formal invite to Eli to come perform for the kids alongside Gare-wet...I think everyone would appreciate Garrett having some help...
Plus, Ethan would freak out if two guitars showed up...throw a harmonica in and I fully expect to be cleaning up blood after their heads explode.
JK...
So, because I was feeling lazy, we went to McDonald's today...Seriously, I know there is a 75% chance I grow an extra limb or just drop dead in the middle of my own (deep in the future) wedding thanks to it...but McDonald's is amazing...
Where else can you take 4 humans to eat for $18.03? Not to mention, 3 toys...and a high five from the guy who gave us the food cause he saw the kids and my beard and put 2 + 2 together, I think...
That or he was congratulating me for being a good father. Either way, great high five.
And, by the way, awesome work McDonald's - The SpiderMan figurines that shoot a hard plastic web were big hits...
Not to mention potentially very dangerous...who came up with these toys McDonald's? Irvin Mainway?
However, let me just say, these trips might come to an end if they don't actually start eating the food they tell me they want...my patience is growing thin...
We're going to go finish off these masks...and then, hopefully, I'll make a video and show you my brainwashing efforts...
I'll give you a hint:
I say "Let's Go..." and they say?
Now, truth be told, I didn't think there was a chance in Hell that school would be able to get to the Museum and back with a bunch of kids within 3 hours...Seriously, what are the odds of that? 1 in 100K?
Naturally, since I have awful luck, they were the last kids left...
Yeah. Apparently, I'm "that guy."
As always, the ride home started with Ethan wanting to hear Garrett. It's progressed from cute to borderline frustrating because he's picked up enough to know when I'm trying to slip one by him...I guess it's my fault for thinking I can pass Lil Wayne off as Garrett, huh?
Either way, I guess today the song we started on wasn't a usual suspect because they were all confused. In this particular song a harmonica is used...Now, for those of us lucky enough to be raised in the 90's (i.e. Born before 1986 but after 1980) a harmonica isn't something new since you probably own at LEAST one Blues Traveler CD...
However, for a kid, a Harmonica is apparently mind blowing. They know drums and guitars...but trying to introduce them to a harmonica while driving is like trying to describe what the color red looks like to a deaf & blind guy...
I wanted to do the motion/noise but since I follow proper driving protocol, I keep my hands at 10 and 2 at all times...
So I just did the noise...
Which they already were hearing...
Which just confused everyone.
As such, they became alarmed at how Garrett could possibly handle all the instruments.
Time to blow their minds...
"Guys, the person playing the harmonica is named Eli and he's in Garrett's band too"
As this rocked Ethan & Owens world, no doubt convincing them that the guy who came over to play was an out & out fraud, Summer piped up:
"Two peeble? Dat's silly Bictor!"
At this point, I feel I should extend a formal invite to Eli to come perform for the kids alongside Gare-wet...I think everyone would appreciate Garrett having some help...
Plus, Ethan would freak out if two guitars showed up...throw a harmonica in and I fully expect to be cleaning up blood after their heads explode.
JK...
So, because I was feeling lazy, we went to McDonald's today...Seriously, I know there is a 75% chance I grow an extra limb or just drop dead in the middle of my own (deep in the future) wedding thanks to it...but McDonald's is amazing...
Where else can you take 4 humans to eat for $18.03? Not to mention, 3 toys...and a high five from the guy who gave us the food cause he saw the kids and my beard and put 2 + 2 together, I think...
That or he was congratulating me for being a good father. Either way, great high five.
And, by the way, awesome work McDonald's - The SpiderMan figurines that shoot a hard plastic web were big hits...
Not to mention potentially very dangerous...who came up with these toys McDonald's? Irvin Mainway?
However, let me just say, these trips might come to an end if they don't actually start eating the food they tell me they want...my patience is growing thin...
We're going to go finish off these masks...and then, hopefully, I'll make a video and show you my brainwashing efforts...
I'll give you a hint:
I say "Let's Go..." and they say?
Day 17 - The Trip To School
Today is a big day for Ethan & Owen because their school is taking them to the Children's Museum...
For those of you unfamiliar with the Children's Museum it's basically (if my memory serves correct) a building that, by now, must be old and decrepit but is chock full of activities for kids...
I seem to recall a grocery store area, a hospital/doctor area, and apparently there is a little patio spot where they pump in fake snow during the winter from time to time.
Either way, kids love this place.
Needless to say, everyone was in good spirits. Even Summer, who happened to win the fictional MVP award yesterday...She was phenomenal.
On the way to school we listened to - big shocker - Marilyn Manson...Joking. We listened to Garrett...Again...I'm starting to hate that guys voice...
The only amusing tidbit of this ride was the discussion concerning my wearing a hat.
See folks, my hair grows at a freakish rate. As in, I get a haircut - on average - every two weeks.
Sure, part of this is because my mom is a hairstylist and all it costs me a hug and a kiss on the cheek...But still, I would be going every 3 weeks if I had to actually fork over some cash.
Why? Because it's ridiculous and it doesn't grow down...It grows out and up. So if you need someone who can grow a mustache and afro in 2 weeks - Call me.
So, because of this, I have taken to wearing a hat lately...
And the kids remember Garrett wore a hat...and because our hats were similar the discussion turned to hats and Gare-wet and myself looking the same...which turned into them joking about how I AM Garrett...and me pointing out how Garrett is smaller than me...
Which turned into Ethan getting defensive about Garrett and telling me to stop.
[Note: Garrett, good news, had you lived with Ethan instead of Appy & I you can rest easy knowing he wouldn't have made you put your groceries on the lower shelves because you were the smallest.]
Anyways, uneventful morning otherwise so I'm going to go shower and then pick the kids up from school...Back in a bit.
For those of you unfamiliar with the Children's Museum it's basically (if my memory serves correct) a building that, by now, must be old and decrepit but is chock full of activities for kids...
I seem to recall a grocery store area, a hospital/doctor area, and apparently there is a little patio spot where they pump in fake snow during the winter from time to time.
Either way, kids love this place.
Needless to say, everyone was in good spirits. Even Summer, who happened to win the fictional MVP award yesterday...She was phenomenal.
On the way to school we listened to - big shocker - Marilyn Manson...Joking. We listened to Garrett...Again...I'm starting to hate that guys voice...
The only amusing tidbit of this ride was the discussion concerning my wearing a hat.
See folks, my hair grows at a freakish rate. As in, I get a haircut - on average - every two weeks.
Sure, part of this is because my mom is a hairstylist and all it costs me a hug and a kiss on the cheek...But still, I would be going every 3 weeks if I had to actually fork over some cash.
Why? Because it's ridiculous and it doesn't grow down...It grows out and up. So if you need someone who can grow a mustache and afro in 2 weeks - Call me.
So, because of this, I have taken to wearing a hat lately...
And the kids remember Garrett wore a hat...and because our hats were similar the discussion turned to hats and Gare-wet and myself looking the same...which turned into them joking about how I AM Garrett...and me pointing out how Garrett is smaller than me...
Which turned into Ethan getting defensive about Garrett and telling me to stop.
[Note: Garrett, good news, had you lived with Ethan instead of Appy & I you can rest easy knowing he wouldn't have made you put your groceries on the lower shelves because you were the smallest.]
Anyways, uneventful morning otherwise so I'm going to go shower and then pick the kids up from school...Back in a bit.
Monday, March 9, 2009
Day 16 - I Wish It Was Dr. J We Were Seeing...
I've come to the conclusion that there are only two things a med student really has to knock out before becoming a doctor:
1) The Hippocratic Oath
2) Learning how to rudely keep their patients waiting
Once they get that down, everything else can be found on Web MD...It's a pretty sweet trade-off for luxury automobiles, vacation homes and trophy wives if you ask me.
[Note: This only applies to physicians...not surgeons]
As you may have deduced from the title of this post or the first little bit, we had another doctors appointment today.
After spending more time than I anticipated dressing the kids (Summer was insisting on a dress that, when on, showed the bottom half of her, well, bottom...and that wasn't kosher in my book)...we departed for the doctors appointment already knowing we'd be late.
I call this "Paying It Forward."
Luckily, the kids other grandmother - CFO's mom - "Meemaw" has joined the party to assist me (re: alleviate me of any serious responsibilities such as talking to intelligent people)...
Now, for whatever reason, I've been looking at everything today through "Good News/Bad News" colored lenses so that's how I'm going to run down the experience from start to finish.
Good News: Ethan and Owen look ridiculously cool/funny in their Batman/Spiderman (respectively) sunglasses.
Bad News: Summer's glasses have a pink tint so when I look at her I can clearly see her looking back and for some reason this is messing with my head.
Good News: The office is FILLED with women. Jackpot.
Bad News: They're either all married or unattractive. Or both. "How could you be so..."
Good News: Thanks for that 5 month old VIBE magazine Doc...I read it cover to cover...
Bad News: Because this was, oddly enough, one of the only magazines available outside of "Seniors Weekly" Owen enjoyed it with me...which resulted in a few questions about why everyone in VIBE had brown skin. I told him brown is beautiful. Sufficient answer!
Good News: Hey! Awesome! Thanks for putting Charlotte's Web on guys!!
Bad News: On MUTE! Really people? This is supposed to be cool? What's next? Ripping all the pages out of the kids books?
Good News: Lady at the front desk - thanks for the pen you gave Owen so he could draw all over the ONE "Highlights" magazine in the whole office...that was really nice of you.
Bad News: Hope you don't need it now that it's in my glove compartment...
Good News: The kids told "Meemaw" how I'm nice, how I never spank them, and how they love me.
Bad News: They also said that I didn't give them lunch today (even though I did)...
Lesson? Kids are not always credible witnesses...
So yeah, after spending 2 hours at a doctors office, staring at other people & reading VIBE...I had a friggin blast...
The kids spent the ride home with their shades on, windows down, listening to Gare-Wet (I do want to mention that Ethan had a favorite...but its full blown to the point that he can now hum along to the song he likes...which KILLS me)...
All in all - Good day so far...They might get ice cream if we have it...
1) The Hippocratic Oath
2) Learning how to rudely keep their patients waiting
Once they get that down, everything else can be found on Web MD...It's a pretty sweet trade-off for luxury automobiles, vacation homes and trophy wives if you ask me.
[Note: This only applies to physicians...not surgeons]
As you may have deduced from the title of this post or the first little bit, we had another doctors appointment today.
After spending more time than I anticipated dressing the kids (Summer was insisting on a dress that, when on, showed the bottom half of her, well, bottom...and that wasn't kosher in my book)...we departed for the doctors appointment already knowing we'd be late.
I call this "Paying It Forward."
Luckily, the kids other grandmother - CFO's mom - "Meemaw" has joined the party to assist me (re: alleviate me of any serious responsibilities such as talking to intelligent people)...
Now, for whatever reason, I've been looking at everything today through "Good News/Bad News" colored lenses so that's how I'm going to run down the experience from start to finish.
Good News: Ethan and Owen look ridiculously cool/funny in their Batman/Spiderman (respectively) sunglasses.
Bad News: Summer's glasses have a pink tint so when I look at her I can clearly see her looking back and for some reason this is messing with my head.
Good News: The office is FILLED with women. Jackpot.
Bad News: They're either all married or unattractive. Or both. "How could you be so..."
Good News: Thanks for that 5 month old VIBE magazine Doc...I read it cover to cover...
Bad News: Because this was, oddly enough, one of the only magazines available outside of "Seniors Weekly" Owen enjoyed it with me...which resulted in a few questions about why everyone in VIBE had brown skin. I told him brown is beautiful. Sufficient answer!
Good News: Hey! Awesome! Thanks for putting Charlotte's Web on guys!!
Bad News: On MUTE! Really people? This is supposed to be cool? What's next? Ripping all the pages out of the kids books?
Good News: Lady at the front desk - thanks for the pen you gave Owen so he could draw all over the ONE "Highlights" magazine in the whole office...that was really nice of you.
Bad News: Hope you don't need it now that it's in my glove compartment...
Good News: The kids told "Meemaw" how I'm nice, how I never spank them, and how they love me.
Bad News: They also said that I didn't give them lunch today (even though I did)...
Lesson? Kids are not always credible witnesses...
So yeah, after spending 2 hours at a doctors office, staring at other people & reading VIBE...I had a friggin blast...
The kids spent the ride home with their shades on, windows down, listening to Gare-Wet (I do want to mention that Ethan had a favorite...but its full blown to the point that he can now hum along to the song he likes...which KILLS me)...
All in all - Good day so far...They might get ice cream if we have it...
Day 16 - Seriously, What The?
Ethan will not stop peeing. Kid has gone 3 times since I got here...
I asked why he was going so much...
"Buh buh because sometimes I have to pee a lot"
I asked why he was going so much...
"Buh buh because sometimes I have to pee a lot"
Day 16 - Hello
I'm not going to lie - we're on week 4 and I could have sworn by now I would have quit or just succumbed to the pressure and hopped on a bus headed somewhere far away...Needless to say, I'm pretty proud of myself...
I walked in this morning to Summer & Ethan in dynamite moods and Owen not exactly thrilled because the CEO wasn't delivering the goods on his latest drawing...
Which resulted in my favorite quote for today:
"Owen, stop crying...you're crying over a picture dude, this is supposed to be fun..."
From here on out, I'm telling them "this is supposed to be fun" whenever they cry.
As for those of you wondering what your manny did with his weekend...welp, here let me show you: Pay close attention to the row titled "V" and the 4 strikes "V" rolled in a row...That's right ladies - I like kids and bowling...Feel free to email.
[NOTE: That 102 by Mullaney turned into a 130 when he got crazy with his last few throws...]
I walked in this morning to Summer & Ethan in dynamite moods and Owen not exactly thrilled because the CEO wasn't delivering the goods on his latest drawing...
Which resulted in my favorite quote for today:
"Owen, stop crying...you're crying over a picture dude, this is supposed to be fun..."
From here on out, I'm telling them "this is supposed to be fun" whenever they cry.
As for those of you wondering what your manny did with his weekend...welp, here let me show you: Pay close attention to the row titled "V" and the 4 strikes "V" rolled in a row...That's right ladies - I like kids and bowling...Feel free to email.
[NOTE: That 102 by Mullaney turned into a 130 when he got crazy with his last few throws...]
Friday, March 6, 2009
Day 15 - The Field Trip
[UPDATE: THIS POST HAS BEEN UPDATED & EXTENDED BELOW THE ORIGINAL STORY]
Look, I'm a little bit tired. I went out last night and then I've been here with the kids all day...Hanging out with kids is one of those things that is deceiving in nature because it appears to be easy but in reality its more taxing than any job I've ever had (except male escort - hey oh).
I say this not to sound like a crybaby but to put the following story in perspective...I may not do our trip justice but I will try...
After lunch the kids had two options:
- Go Home
or
- Go to Snagajob.Com headquarters...
They chose Snagajob so that's what we did...But before I go on let me bring you folks up to speed...
1) Snagajob.com is THE #1 website for hourly workers to find employment...The easiest comparison I can make is that it's Monster.com for hourly work...It's also chock full of young, creative people. Some are even beautiful. Especially Mullaney (I'm absolutely kidding about this. However, I am now aware that his Mom and Sister have been reading the blog so I changed it up from the original comment where I made fun of him)...
2) Tica works at Snagajob...
3) The word on the local street is that there are a few people at Snagajob who read the blog. As such, it seemed fitting to take the kids there for their first trip...
[Note: Those of you at IW reading the blog...talk to my boss about our visiting him at his office before you yell at me for going to SAJ first...]
Now, as I said earlier, Ethan's like a miniature politician but Owen is a bit iffy about attention and Summer is a wild card in that you can never be sure which Summer will show up - shy or outgoing...
So my fear was that, because these people have read about them and have developed a one-way relationship with the kids (to a certain degree) they might feel comfortable approaching the kids...
Which could potentially freak the kids out.
So I warned everyone of them that the people had seen their video and would know them so if someone stared (directed at Owen) don't yell at them or anything...Just say "hello" and smile...
This trip went as well as could be expected. The kids were holding court throughout the office and eating up attention (not to mention work time) like they ran the place...
At this point, because its 4:45 and one of my bosses has arrived relieving me of my duties I'm going to cut it a bit short but I'd like to mention a few people/things:
- Grace, the receptionist who gave me a hug. She smelled delicious.
- Stephanie, who went home during her lunch and brought back stickers for the kids out of the goodness of her heart. Each kid is currently covered in an array of colorful stars. Ethan most of all...He took a serious liking to Stephanie...going so far as to push her glasses back onto her nose and saying quietly to her "Sheeeesh...Kids..."
- Tricia, who broke out her princess snow globe that won Summer's heart for eternity...Between that and her purple towel Summer found a friend for life. Well done Tricia.
- The giant chalkboard the kids were free to go nuts on with tons of colorful chalk...Everyone drew rainbows...This makes me think these kids would have supported Prop 8 if they were able to vote in California...
- John V, Kevin M, Gregg V, Kristi E, Heather H, Annette and everyone else who came over to talk to us...
- Shawn Boyer - the Snagajob CEO - came out and talked to the kids...luckily they were on their best behavior as it really would have sucked if I accidentally got my sister fired in the midst of this economy...
- The Snagajob snack room for the Oreo snack pack you provided all three kids...
- Lastly, Lorinda, who gave the kids lollipops...I didn't catch your name so I apologize but thank you very much...They really enjoyed them.
[UPDATED PORTION]
When I got home I jumped on the blog to see if I made any mistakes commonly associated with illiterate people...and what I found was that my post really, in a way, wasn't entertaining at all...There are moments here and there but I neglected to tell you anything truly funny...Until now, when I remembered this story...
Ethan hates public restrooms. Now, while foreign to ladies, guys know all about stage fright and many are sympathizing with Ethan as they read this very sentence...
However, Ethan's problem is not stage fright, not in the least.
Oh no, he has a serious issue with the automatic flush contraption connected to most public restroom urinals & toilets.
Now, I'm not making fun of him. He's eye level with this thing and I can understand how the sheer volume and force of the flush at that distance could be a bit daunting...I totally understand
That being said, this was hilarious...
As soon as we got to Snagajob he needed to go...Tica & I hustled the three of them in through a side door (paparazzi) and kind of just burst right into the middle of eight cubicles. Take a moment to picture that happening right now in your cubicle area...
Ethan and I take off on a mad dash to the bathroom with him still stopping to say hello to people...We find the restrooms, head on in, take the handicap stall (I know, I know but you have to understand) and we both see it:
The Automatic Flusher.
(By the way, this one is pretty fancy and impressive looking...even I was speechless for a second)
Apparently, he had to go bad enough that he was going to make it happen rain or shine...and here was our conversation that followed:
Me: "OK...I know this isn't cool but it'll be alright"
Ethan "Bictor...You gotta hold my e-uhhs"
Who doesn't chuckle at that request?
This was one of those times it was cool for him to sit...so there he is trying to focus on peeing with the fear of death coursing through his veins...I'm holding his ears and laughing but doing my best to not laugh out loud...Finally he finishes and as soon as the kid gets up and pulls his undergear up The Automatic Flusher goes off and he lunges into me covering his ears...
All in all, this was the funniest moment - for me - of the entire Snagajob trip...
[UPDATE OVER]
With that, I'm going home and turning back into a 25 year old who goes out on the weekends...See you folks on Monday...
Your friend,
The Manny
Look, I'm a little bit tired. I went out last night and then I've been here with the kids all day...Hanging out with kids is one of those things that is deceiving in nature because it appears to be easy but in reality its more taxing than any job I've ever had (except male escort - hey oh).
I say this not to sound like a crybaby but to put the following story in perspective...I may not do our trip justice but I will try...
After lunch the kids had two options:
- Go Home
or
- Go to Snagajob.Com headquarters...
They chose Snagajob so that's what we did...But before I go on let me bring you folks up to speed...
1) Snagajob.com is THE #1 website for hourly workers to find employment...The easiest comparison I can make is that it's Monster.com for hourly work...It's also chock full of young, creative people. Some are even beautiful. Especially Mullaney (I'm absolutely kidding about this. However, I am now aware that his Mom and Sister have been reading the blog so I changed it up from the original comment where I made fun of him)...
2) Tica works at Snagajob...
3) The word on the local street is that there are a few people at Snagajob who read the blog. As such, it seemed fitting to take the kids there for their first trip...
[Note: Those of you at IW reading the blog...talk to my boss about our visiting him at his office before you yell at me for going to SAJ first...]
Now, as I said earlier, Ethan's like a miniature politician but Owen is a bit iffy about attention and Summer is a wild card in that you can never be sure which Summer will show up - shy or outgoing...
So my fear was that, because these people have read about them and have developed a one-way relationship with the kids (to a certain degree) they might feel comfortable approaching the kids...
Which could potentially freak the kids out.
So I warned everyone of them that the people had seen their video and would know them so if someone stared (directed at Owen) don't yell at them or anything...Just say "hello" and smile...
This trip went as well as could be expected. The kids were holding court throughout the office and eating up attention (not to mention work time) like they ran the place...
At this point, because its 4:45 and one of my bosses has arrived relieving me of my duties I'm going to cut it a bit short but I'd like to mention a few people/things:
- Grace, the receptionist who gave me a hug. She smelled delicious.
- Stephanie, who went home during her lunch and brought back stickers for the kids out of the goodness of her heart. Each kid is currently covered in an array of colorful stars. Ethan most of all...He took a serious liking to Stephanie...going so far as to push her glasses back onto her nose and saying quietly to her "Sheeeesh...Kids..."
- Tricia, who broke out her princess snow globe that won Summer's heart for eternity...Between that and her purple towel Summer found a friend for life. Well done Tricia.
- The giant chalkboard the kids were free to go nuts on with tons of colorful chalk...Everyone drew rainbows...This makes me think these kids would have supported Prop 8 if they were able to vote in California...
- John V, Kevin M, Gregg V, Kristi E, Heather H, Annette and everyone else who came over to talk to us...
- Shawn Boyer - the Snagajob CEO - came out and talked to the kids...luckily they were on their best behavior as it really would have sucked if I accidentally got my sister fired in the midst of this economy...
- The Snagajob snack room for the Oreo snack pack you provided all three kids...
- Lastly, Lorinda, who gave the kids lollipops...I didn't catch your name so I apologize but thank you very much...They really enjoyed them.
[UPDATED PORTION]
When I got home I jumped on the blog to see if I made any mistakes commonly associated with illiterate people...and what I found was that my post really, in a way, wasn't entertaining at all...There are moments here and there but I neglected to tell you anything truly funny...Until now, when I remembered this story...
Ethan hates public restrooms. Now, while foreign to ladies, guys know all about stage fright and many are sympathizing with Ethan as they read this very sentence...
However, Ethan's problem is not stage fright, not in the least.
Oh no, he has a serious issue with the automatic flush contraption connected to most public restroom urinals & toilets.
Now, I'm not making fun of him. He's eye level with this thing and I can understand how the sheer volume and force of the flush at that distance could be a bit daunting...I totally understand
That being said, this was hilarious...
As soon as we got to Snagajob he needed to go...Tica & I hustled the three of them in through a side door (paparazzi) and kind of just burst right into the middle of eight cubicles. Take a moment to picture that happening right now in your cubicle area...
Ethan and I take off on a mad dash to the bathroom with him still stopping to say hello to people...We find the restrooms, head on in, take the handicap stall (I know, I know but you have to understand) and we both see it:
The Automatic Flusher.
(By the way, this one is pretty fancy and impressive looking...even I was speechless for a second)
Apparently, he had to go bad enough that he was going to make it happen rain or shine...and here was our conversation that followed:
Me: "OK...I know this isn't cool but it'll be alright"
Ethan "Bictor...You gotta hold my e-uhhs"
Who doesn't chuckle at that request?
This was one of those times it was cool for him to sit...so there he is trying to focus on peeing with the fear of death coursing through his veins...I'm holding his ears and laughing but doing my best to not laugh out loud...Finally he finishes and as soon as the kid gets up and pulls his undergear up The Automatic Flusher goes off and he lunges into me covering his ears...
All in all, this was the funniest moment - for me - of the entire Snagajob trip...
[UPDATE OVER]
With that, I'm going home and turning back into a 25 year old who goes out on the weekends...See you folks on Monday...
Your friend,
The Manny
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