Day 22 - The Mall Play Ground

Once again, I apologize for the lack of posting...I've decided that the theme for this week is "quality over quantity" being that I won't be posting after today anyways...

So, since I leave for Las Vegas tomorrow, I felt like I owed the kids something fun today...

On the way home from school, I decided we were going to swing by a local mall and have some lunch. Then, after a delicious & nutritious meal, we would head over to the play area and get crazy.

Naturally, none of this went exactly as I planned. I will now list what I remember...

1) We decided to order from a fast food establishment popular in the Southern U.S. known for their original chicken sandwich and manners...Not to mention, commercials featuring wacky cows who wear parachutes and suggest we eat more chicken.

Now, when I say we decided I mean I had to tell Ethan they didn't have cheese pizza anywhere since Owen & Summer wanted chicken. A slice of pizza at this place - whose name starts with "S" and ends in "Barro" - would have been too big...Plus when he heard everyone else was getting nuggets he was sold.

Troublesome Situation Avoided. Wipe the brow.

At this point, I would be remiss if I didn't mention that this place - Chick-Fil-A - gave the kids a CD-Rom as the toy in their kids meal.

Yeah.

Great.

Fantastic thinking folks...Chick-Fil-A needs a Josh Baskin on the quick.

2) After we got our food and had a lady recognize us from the hair salon on Friday, we ambled off to find our seat. Since I let the kids pick we ended up off in this odd side room...Which, at the time, I didn't realize was filled with an entire group of mentally challenged people. Which led to a lot of staring and a few questions (and a couple weird noises) and a whole lot of me telling the kids to eat...

Awkward. Not Cool. I'll pick the table from here on out.

3) Finally, once we all finished our lunch and wiped the Polynesian sauce off our elbows, cheeks, and armpits...We made a break for the play area...which, upon closer inspection, appeared to consist of random objects (Weights/Ladybugs/Turtle,/Stopwatch/etc) made of hard plastic...

Immediately, I feel like the kids are too big...Plus they have to take their shoes off...which just seems like trouble...

And then I see the mini-rides...In a flash, I'm exchanging dollar bills for quarters and have all 3 kids in the ride of their choice (Owen in a Fire Truck, Ethan in a NASCAR, and Summer in a pink and purple bus)...

This works for a bit...But it's not enough so I give in...We head into the play area.

4) This play area was like downtown Baghdad. It is the personification of complete and utter chaos. I have never in my life NOT been able to hear myself think...It was borderline terrifying.

By the way, just so I can throw it out there, it's incredible how much you can tell about a person by their personality as a kid. I was watching some of these kids just predicting futures...

You could tell which kids we're punks, which would wind up being class clowns, who would end up an alcoholic, who was athletic...There was this one little black kid who looked like a miniature Arsenio Hall and he was flying all over the place. No one could catch this kid. At this point, I should be clear that I'm not trying to make some racially based joke, I'm just trying to paint the picture for you...

(But seriously - This kid was phenomenal. I almost stole him.)

I am happy to report that Owen was the second fastest kid in the area...except for the random 10 year old whose presence prompted Owen to come up and tell me that kid was too big to be in there.

Hey, Mall Cops, thanks for telling people to take their shoes off but not Jazz-ing this giant punk...

5) I was alarmed at how many people were there...Multiple couples...Not going to lie, there was one lady who was DYNAMITE looking...I spent a little bit of time trying to catch a glimpse of her ring finger and, lo & behold, she had a Cadillac hood ornament on it...

NEXT.

There is no one else. Oh well. Time to sit there and just stare at people until we get into an unexpected (on their side) "Staring Game."

6)I don't know if I'll ever do that again with them...High stress...I looked at every straggler like a potential kidnapper.

On top of that, I REALLY wanted to trip some of those kids...Some of them were rude AND reckless. Come on parents, step it up. Keep your head up out there, put the book down and act alive.

7) I lied and said I didn't have Garrett's music today...So we listened to Kanye West's "808's & Heartbreak"...Which Ethan really liked for the drum sounds but Owen didn't care for AT ALL...So as Ethan bobbed his head to the music and Summer laughed, Owen covered his ears...

All in all, not a bad trip...just chock full of stressful situations...But we're home, we're alive...Everything is good...I hope I can say the same about my upcoming Vegas trip...