Day 15 - The Field Trip

[UPDATE: THIS POST HAS BEEN UPDATED & EXTENDED BELOW THE ORIGINAL STORY]

Look, I'm a little bit tired. I went out last night and then I've been here with the kids all day...Hanging out with kids is one of those things that is deceiving in nature because it appears to be easy but in reality its more taxing than any job I've ever had (except male escort - hey oh).

I say this not to sound like a crybaby but to put the following story in perspective...I may not do our trip justice but I will try...

After lunch the kids had two options:

- Go Home

or

- Go to Snagajob.Com headquarters...

They chose Snagajob so that's what we did...But before I go on let me bring you folks up to speed...

1) Snagajob.com is THE #1 website for hourly workers to find employment...The easiest comparison I can make is that it's Monster.com for hourly work...It's also chock full of young, creative people. Some are even beautiful. Especially Mullaney (I'm absolutely kidding about this. However, I am now aware that his Mom and Sister have been reading the blog so I changed it up from the original comment where I made fun of him)...

2) Tica works at Snagajob...

3) The word on the local street is that there are a few people at Snagajob who read the blog. As such, it seemed fitting to take the kids there for their first trip...

[Note: Those of you at IW reading the blog...talk to my boss about our visiting him at his office before you yell at me for going to SAJ first...]

Now, as I said earlier, Ethan's like a miniature politician but Owen is a bit iffy about attention and Summer is a wild card in that you can never be sure which Summer will show up - shy or outgoing...

So my fear was that, because these people have read about them and have developed a one-way relationship with the kids (to a certain degree) they might feel comfortable approaching the kids...

Which could potentially freak the kids out.

So I warned everyone of them that the people had seen their video and would know them so if someone stared (directed at Owen) don't yell at them or anything...Just say "hello" and smile...

This trip went as well as could be expected. The kids were holding court throughout the office and eating up attention (not to mention work time) like they ran the place...

At this point, because its 4:45 and one of my bosses has arrived relieving me of my duties I'm going to cut it a bit short but I'd like to mention a few people/things:

- Grace, the receptionist who gave me a hug. She smelled delicious.

- Stephanie, who went home during her lunch and brought back stickers for the kids out of the goodness of her heart. Each kid is currently covered in an array of colorful stars. Ethan most of all...He took a serious liking to Stephanie...going so far as to push her glasses back onto her nose and saying quietly to her "Sheeeesh...Kids..."

- Tricia, who broke out her princess snow globe that won Summer's heart for eternity...Between that and her purple towel Summer found a friend for life. Well done Tricia.

- The giant chalkboard the kids were free to go nuts on with tons of colorful chalk...Everyone drew rainbows...This makes me think these kids would have supported Prop 8 if they were able to vote in California...

- John V, Kevin M, Gregg V, Kristi E, Heather H, Annette and everyone else who came over to talk to us...

- Shawn Boyer - the Snagajob CEO - came out and talked to the kids...luckily they were on their best behavior as it really would have sucked if I accidentally got my sister fired in the midst of this economy...

- The Snagajob snack room for the Oreo snack pack you provided all three kids...

- Lastly, Lorinda, who gave the kids lollipops...I didn't catch your name so I apologize but thank you very much...They really enjoyed them.

[UPDATED PORTION]

When I got home I jumped on the blog to see if I made any mistakes commonly associated with illiterate people...and what I found was that my post really, in a way, wasn't entertaining at all...There are moments here and there but I neglected to tell you anything truly funny...Until now, when I remembered this story...

Ethan hates public restrooms. Now, while foreign to ladies, guys know all about stage fright and many are sympathizing with Ethan as they read this very sentence...

However, Ethan's problem is not stage fright, not in the least.

Oh no, he has a serious issue with the automatic flush contraption connected to most public restroom urinals & toilets.

Now, I'm not making fun of him. He's eye level with this thing and I can understand how the sheer volume and force of the flush at that distance could be a bit daunting...I totally understand

That being said, this was hilarious...

As soon as we got to Snagajob he needed to go...Tica & I hustled the three of them in through a side door (paparazzi) and kind of just burst right into the middle of eight cubicles. Take a moment to picture that happening right now in your cubicle area...

Ethan and I take off on a mad dash to the bathroom with him still stopping to say hello to people...We find the restrooms, head on in, take the handicap stall (I know, I know but you have to understand) and we both see it:

The Automatic Flusher.

(By the way, this one is pretty fancy and impressive looking...even I was speechless for a second)

Apparently, he had to go bad enough that he was going to make it happen rain or shine...and here was our conversation that followed:

Me: "OK...I know this isn't cool but it'll be alright"

Ethan "Bictor...You gotta hold my e-uhhs"

Who doesn't chuckle at that request?

This was one of those times it was cool for him to sit...so there he is trying to focus on peeing with the fear of death coursing through his veins...I'm holding his ears and laughing but doing my best to not laugh out loud...Finally he finishes and as soon as the kid gets up and pulls his undergear up The Automatic Flusher goes off and he lunges into me covering his ears...

All in all, this was the funniest moment - for me - of the entire Snagajob trip...

[UPDATE OVER]

With that, I'm going home and turning back into a 25 year old who goes out on the weekends...See you folks on Monday...

Your friend,

The Manny