Naturally, my first thought was a 2 for 1 in which we get lunch and expend energy...So I drove towards McDonald's where, upon our arrival and much to my chagrin, I find that they do NOT have a play area.
However, they do have a piano that plays itself which would be great if I was 86 years old.
So, since there is a Burger King next door with a giant play structure and because I appreciate Kings (Elvis, Lebron, Of Leon, etc.) we head that way...
As always, it takes a few minutes to figure out what everyone wants...Generally, Summer follows Owen and does whatever he wants (which I've yet to figure out why she follows him as much as she does...its odd really...I mean Ethan is technically older and they are twins...plus Ethan is more affectionate with her but whatever)...
Anyway, we get 2 orders of nuggets and a Cheeseburger...The lady behind the counter couldn't suck more. Really. She was awful in every way imaginable.
Look, I apologize the game of Life led you to serving me at a fast food restaurant but cheer the eff up and smile with your 3 teeth sweetheart...Seriously.
Summer does her bossy bit about getting dip so we had a little chat about how being bossy isn't the way to win me over...She says OK but I know for a fact she forgot that lesson in .5 seconds.
While we eat I take note of just how depressing the clientele at a Burger King is...Not even a joke - Next time look around while you eat and you'll notice it too...
As we're eating though, I notice Myra at the counter forgot the kids toys...So I go back up to ask for them and she starts to argue with me about giving them to me...I tell her she can check my pockets and my table - I didn't get my SpongeBob toys...Cough. Them. Up.
Myra realizes i'm not kidding and does so.
Do NOT screw with a 25 year old guy watching 3 kids under the age of 5 unless you wan't to get your head slammed into the register.
After 15 minutes of trying to convince everyone to focus on their food we finish up and I unleash them into the play area.
Couple things about the play area I notice after they are inside:
1) Everyone is supposed to be 4 years or older...I have a feeling this wont be the last time Summer sneaks into a fun area while underage.
2) "Rule #6 - If you see something weird tell a manager immediately" - This completely blows my mind because it HAS to be in reference to pedophiles or bodily fluids right? What else would you consider weird in a play area? Can I tell on this weird kid staring at me?
Being that Summer is too young she's struggling to get up the tower that leads to a maze of plastic tubes designed to static shock kids every few seconds...
Look, all three of these kids are fantastic...But while Ethan is the super sweet sensitive one and Summer's the sassy one, Owen is the protector with a quick wit. Basically, when I need some assistance Owen's my man and it's funny because he's always happy to oblige when I need him.
So I pulled him over and asked him to help the others...and he did...he was like Patrick Swazye in "Red Dawn" just carrying the rest of the troops...Summer couldn't have done it without him...I was honestly beaming watching him pull her up a level and give Ethan a hand...he ran the show and he ran it well.
Now, for a while these kids were lost in this place and I'll be honest - it was pretty crazy...
The one rule I made though was that no one cry...Because it's about having fun and you never see fun mixed with tears unless they're tears of laughter...
This message was really pointed at Summer who cries more than the rest...I mean, if I want Ethan to cry I just have to seem mad but that wasn't going to happen in the ZONE.
As they're playing I realize the only way for them to come down is through the slide...So I'm calling out to them to follow my voice and try to look out these mini Cruise ship like portholes to see me point them in the right direction...and then they all froze.
The slide was daunting. I hear a LOT of talking amongst the trio...No one trusts the slide or me...
I keep saying its OK and to just go...Ethan starts talking about going headfirst which seems ballsy but whatever...
Finally, because I'm bored talking up a slide, I throw this out:
"First one down gets a dollar"
Next thing I know Ethan is sliding down on his belly, feet first, and I pull him up and he looks at me, smiles, hugs me and then goes
"Can I have my dolla now?"
Killed me. Just classic.
The others follow suit...
After this they run through one more time happily before we vacate the premises (not before getting crowns for all 3)...Sure, Summer let out a little cry at one point but I told her if she was gonna cry we all had to go...Owen quickly hushed her up...
Once we got home, they played with their Sponge Bob before I put Summer down for her nap and the boys started to watch their movies from yesterday in the CEO/CFO's bed...I went up to check on them and Ethan has passed out with half his body hanging off the bed...Owen looks at me, shrugs and smiles...
Pretty good day...but I don't think we're ever going back to Burger King.
[UPDATE: Here's a photo of E-Rock passed out]
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